I Say A Little Prayer For You - Crockpot Fridge Buster Lasagna

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little prayer for you

Or for me ... it's taken me five days to write one blog post.  

January 21 - Abysmal.  That is the single most accurate word to describe yesterday.  I'm not assigning fault.  I'm not going to give specifics.  I'm just going to say that for thirteen hours, I was in an abysmal situation.  I was not alone, but as I have stated in the past, the pain of others brings me no pleasure.

Today is not shaping up much better.  And tomorrow is up for grabs.

The weather is lovely, nicer than it has been for weeks.  There is a warmth from seventies type temperature, the air is clear, and the sky is a crisp blue.  There have been some really great sunspots formed on the floor at the house, quite pleasing to several of my furry children.  As you can see, I am looking for the golden lining.

January 22 - Oh please dear Lord, by all that is holy, please just send a gentle heavenly nudge this way to ensure a voluntary consent.  I would like to avoid trials and tribulations this morning.  Especially trials.

January 23 - The last day of a tough week.  The pain and exhaustion come and then they go.  Rapid cycling fibromyalgia.  I can't eat, I can't keep my head upright, I can't think clearly.  I haven't been able to make it to the hospital to see Terry.  I can't cook nor food shop. And "The Ballad of Gilligan's Island" keeps running through my head.

Although we did not need a trial this morning, the proceedings were sufficiently convoluted and complicated to take most of the morning.  My back is breaking.  I'm going to have to head home and stay home.  I feel physically and emotionally defeated.

No cooking, no recipes.

January 24 - I survived.  I am here, albeit after a late rising, and I feel strong enough to put on clothes and leave the house for some food shopping.  After a disastrous Friday morning, the end of a horrible, stressful, debilitating week,  I came home and stayed home and crashed and burned.  I slept - oh, did I sleep.

Oh nuts.  I crashed again.  I tried to eat, I really did.  A nice one egg omelet.  Well, at least Robert enjoyed the other half.  Okay, shopping tomorrow, God willing and the crick don't rise.  In the meantime, I decided I had to prepare something edible for my family.  I had been playing around with the idea of crockpot lasagna, but I was missing ricotta cheese and ground beef.  That led me to strip-search my refrigerator, freezer and pantry, and while this is hardly easy, I was able to sit down between assembling each layer, and so it came together.  Of course, what with sitting down between layers and watching episodes of The Librarians, it was too late to fire up the crockpot, so the lasagna-filled crock is sitting in the fridge.  Tomorrow, while I head out to finally do some food shopping and stocking, the lasagna will be slow-cooking for 6 to 8 hours, until it burbles.  Isn't that a great word?  Burble.  It sounds so cheerful.  I could use cheerful.

Crockpot Fridge Buster Lasagna
Prepare each layer, and set aside.

Sauce
olive oil
1 - 9.6 oz. bag Jimmy Dean Fully Cooked Hearty Sausage Crumbles (mine were frozen)
1 chopped onion
2 large cloves garlic, chopped
2 -24 oz. jars vodka sauce (I used one jar Bertolli and one jar of Classico.  Next time I think I'll use a spicy marinara, in which case I will substitute for the half-and-half with some water or wine)
1/2 cup half-and-half

Add a few tablespoons of olive oil to a medium saucepan over medium heat.  Pour in the sausage crumbles and cook until no longer frozen and starting to brown.  Add the onion and garlic and cook just until the onion is soft.  Now add the vodka sauce.  Pour the half-and half into one of the sauce jars, shake well and then add this mixture to the other sauce jar. Cover and shake well and finally pour the liquid into the pan.  Lower the heat, and simmer together for about 15 minutes.  Lower the heat as much as possible, and keep sauce warm while preparing the layers.

Sausage and Meatballs
olive oil
1/2 pound mild Italian sausage, sliced (I used red pepper and onion variety from Carroll's in Georgia)
1/2 pound tiny turkey meatballs, cooked (mine were from a frozen cache; see the November 23, 2014 post for the recipe)
1 - 24 oz. jar Bertolli Porcini Mushroom Sauce (next time I will go with a regular mushroom sauce)

In a frying pan, combine a tablespoon of olive oil with the sausage over medium heat.  Once the sausage is defrosted and beginning to show color, add the meatballs.  Cook together until the meatballs are defrosted, then drain off any fat in the pan.  Return the pan to the burner and add the sauce.  Simmer the meats and sauce for a few minutes, then leave sitting on the burner on the lowest setting.

Spinach and Artichoke Layer
1 - 10 oz. package frozen chopped spinach, defrosted and squeezed dry
1- 12 oz. jar marinated artichoke hearts, drained and chopped
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup shredded parmesan cheese
3 oz. cream cheese, softened
1 very large clove garlic, minced or microplaned
1 egg
salt and pepper

With a wooden spoon, combine all the ingredient in a medium bowl and set aside.

Cheese Layer
3/4 pound large curd 4% cottage cheese
1 - 8 oz. package Kraft shredded mozzarella with cream cheese
1/4 cup shredded parmesan
2 tablespoons sour cream
2 eggs
salt, pepper, parsley flakes

With a wooden spoon, combine all the ingredient in a medium bowl and set aside.

Lasagna Layers
1 - 1 pound package soft taco size flour tortillas (10 to a package)
remaining shredded parmesan (I hand-shredded a 5 oz. piece of parmesan for the entire recipe)
1 - 8 oz. package sliced provolone cheese

I prepared this in my 6 quart oval crockpot, and it was filled almost to the top.  Removing the finished lasagna from a crockpot is always tricky, so I followed the advice of several online food bloggers and created an aluminum foil "sling" as a liner for the crockpot.  Cut three of the tortillas in half.

Now, the layers:
Sauce to coat the bottom of the crockpotollllllWith a wooden spoon, combine all the ingredient in a medium bowl and set aside.e44444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444

(Wait.  Chelsea just walked across the keyboard, typed this and turned on the music.  The iPad is now playing the theme from "Rocky", and Chelsea is seated next to Robert.  Apparently I wasn't paying enough attention to her.)

Let's try those layers again:

1. Vodka sauce to coat the bottom of the crockpot
2. One and one-half tortillas
3. One-half of the cooked sausage and meatballs, including half of the sauce they were cooked in
4. Shredded parmesan
5. One and one-half tortillas
6. Vodka sauce to generously cover the tortillas
7. One-half of the cottage cheese mixture
8. One and one-half tortillas
9. All of the spinach and artichoke mixture
10. One and one-half tortillas
11. Remaining sausage and meatballs with their sauce
12. Shredded parmesan
13. One and one-half tortillas
14. Vodka sauce to generously cover the tortillas
15. Remaining cottage cheese mixture
16. One and one-half tortillas
17. All of remaining vodka sauce
18. All of the sliced provolone

At this point, I covered it and put it in the fridge overnight.  The next morning, I set the cooker on high for the first hour, then reduced to low for the rest of the time.

Cook on low for 6 to 8 hours until done all the way through.  Shut off the heat, and leave the crockpot for about a half hour.  Using the aluminum foil sling, carefully remove the lasagna to a deep aluminum pan or casserole dish.

Before you run out and purchase a crockpot to prepare this ginormous dish, read tomorrow's blog post. Oh, it tasted pretty darn good, but ...

Viva la Vongole! - Linguine with White Clam Sauce

January 19, 2015 - There are a lot of things I could or should be doing today, but I'm not engaged in any activity more complicated than sitting in my couch corner, sipping coffee and enjoying the company of my dogs.  Even the television is off, as I am not sure I could handle more bad news. The Oklahoma Thunder crushed the Orlando Magic last night, and today is officially "Blue Monday", the saddest day of the year according to some bizarre mathematical formula that escapes me (but then so did calculus, both times I took it in college).

Truly, I don't feel like this is the saddest day of the year.  For one thing, I don't live in an area where freezing temperatures have turned the roads into ice-skating rinks and residents are suffering from frostbite and cabin fever.  I've been there, and that's no joke.

I made no New Year's Resolutions, so I do not feel bad about failing to follow through.  My traditional life-long resolution, to lose weight, is a joke.  This year I thought about resolving to stop losing weight.  Somewhere, Jean Nidetch is laughing at me.

Since I don't celebrate Christmas, I haven't run my charge cards up through the roof to purchase presents for my loved ones, and am now receiving the bills.  I've got bills, but not like that.  My bills always make me sad. Always.

I've got tsuris in my life, who doesn't?   But the saddest day of the year?  Not by a long shot.  When I say I can't take anymore bad news, I'm referring to acts of Islamic terrorism or natural disasters like typhoons, or reports of child abuse.  And it's not a day for Yahrzeit, remembrance for the passing of a loved one.  Those are really sad days, even if they don't fit into someone's mathematical delusion.  And when I think about those of my friends who are, as I write this, facing a medical crisis, I feel very bad.  My heart hurts for them not just today but every day.  Damn cancer.

My fibromyalgia is at a low simmer today.  And I had enough fresh garlic to repair that truly awful linguine dish I ordered at the restaurant the other night.  Save the Clams!  Viva la Vongole!  Long Live the Clams!

The rescue operation involved preparing a smaller amount of my tried-and-true white clam sauce recipe, and then purging the leftovers of grape tomatoes (in white clam sauce?) and bits of some overly spicy sausage (in white clam sauce??)  Oh, and I poured off that sad excuse for sauce, which contained neither garlic nor olive oil.  I think it must have been watered down white wine.  Fortunately, after I got done with it, it was awesome.

Here is the full-bore, from scratch, no-rescue-needed recipe that I have relied on for 25 years. Once you prepare this at home, you will never again be tempted to order it at a restaurant, even a good Italian restaurant.

Linguine with White Clam Sauce

1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
10 cloves garlic, smashed and chopped
2 - 8 oz. bottles clam juice
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 cup dry white wine
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 tablespoon parsley flakes
1 teaspoon dried basil
kosher salt, black pepper, and a pinch of sugar
6 flat cans chopped clams
2 tablespoons butter
2 dozen fresh littleneck clams

12 oz. linguine (flat spaghetti), cooked al dente

In a large deep pan, heat the garlic very gently in the oil to a golden brown.  Add the clam juice, lemon juice, wine, oregano, parsley, basil, salt, pepper and sugar.  Simmer for 20 minutes to heat thoroughly and mingle flavors.  Taste and adjust seasoning if necessary.  Add the canned clams, with their juice, to the pan, bring up to heat, then add the fresh clams, cover the pan, lower the heat and cook about 10 minutes until the clams open.  Stir the butter into the sauce.  Gradually add the linguine to the sauce, stirring to coat the pasta.  Heat together just a minute, then serve immediately.

The Last Act of a Desperate Potato - Crockpot Garlic Mashed Potatoes with Crockpot Caramelized Onions

He rode a blazing saddle
He wore a shining star ...

 "Well, can't you see that's the last act of a desperate man?"

"We don't care if it's the first act of "Henry V," we're leaving!"

Oh, how I adore Mel Brooks!

It is a Kissimmee Valley Sunday, and I am home and no reason to leave my house.  I need one day a week like this, just one.  No bra, no dental adhesive, no eyebrow pencil, no trip to Publix.  I cook, I knit, I drink coffee, I watch TV, I talk baby-talk to the furries.  I've got these potatoes and onions in the crockpot now, set on high for four hours, and bacon baking for the sweet and tangy chicken (but that's another blog post, yes).  I made some tuna fish salad for lunch.  I suggested watching movies because there's just so much Fox News and Food Network one can absorb in a weekend.  My vote was Mel Brooks - all of them, a glorious comedic marathon - but Rob said he was thinking of Guardians of the Galaxy, which we have not yet seen. (Nor will we see today, because apparently the DVD player died.  Requiescat in pace.)

Today's recipes are the last acts of desperate vegetables, especially the potatoes.  When I came down into the kitchen this morning, I found these:

Sprouting taters.  Some cooks will toss these as they are, but I was taught to peel and discard the sprouts, and rock on.  These potatoes had just started to sprout, and so the potatoes were still relatively firm.  By tomorrow, however, they would likely be past their prime.  So these potatoes were desperate to be cooked, as were a couple of onions that were starting to show a bit of fuzz.

Perfect opportunity to use the divided insert for my 6 quart crockpot, right?  Onions on one side, potatoes on the other.  I've also done this with the onions, and a half recipe of Pioneer Women's Burgundy Mushrooms.  Oh my, let me stop to swoon.  Then let me stop to lightly coat the inside of the crock with some non-stick spray.

Crockpot Garlic Mashed Potatoes
6 - 8 smallish gold potatoes, peeled and cubed
4 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons half and half
a couple of cloves smashed garlic
kosher salt, black pepper, and dried chopped chives

Combine all of these ingredients in the crock.  Cover and cook on high for 3 1/2 hours.  Now add as much additional butter and half and half as you like, plus more salt and pepper to taste.  Beat the potatoes with an electric hand mixer.  Remove from the crockpot and set aside while the onions finish cooking. You can eat them like this or you can wait for the caramelized onions.

Crockpot Caramelized Onions
3 - 4 medium onions, sliced thin
4 tablespoons butter
kosher salt, black pepper, and a pinch of sugar

Combine all of these ingredients in the crock.  Cover and cook on high for 4 1/2 hours, until the onions are soft and sweet.

Now you have a tough decision to make.  Should you enjoy each dish separately, or fold the onions into the garlicky potatoes?

Not sure if you can see it in this photo, but I combined the two.  Very very good. But I could see eating those garlic mashed as is, and saving the onions for another noble purpose involving mushrooms and peas and Arborio rice - or just for topping a hamburger or steak.

Fry Me A River - No Fry Sweet and Tangy Chicken

Now you say you're lonely
You cried the long night through
Well, you can cry me a river, cry me a river
I cried a river over you

Oy ... I'm crying a river for my beloved Magic, who are having a bad weather day.  Oh yes, the Thunder are in town and at Amway, and if the first quarter is predictive, the Magic are screwed.

During play-offs, I root for the Thunder.  I love Kevin Durant, and who wouldn't love a team with players named Sir Chewbacca (Serge Ibaka) and Reggie Jackson?  But these aren't the play-offs, and Orlando is 30 points down.  One small glass of wine is not going to help, but that's my limit.

This is one of the 6 billion recipes for cooking chicken.  I found it about 20 years ago, and make it a couple of times a year.  It's got three of my favorite flavors combined in the glaze, honey, Dijon mustard, and curry.  I like this on the chicken thighs rather than the breasts, because I think the glaze works better on the richer dark meat.  The original recipe calls for pan frying the bacon and then frying the chicken in the bacon fat before putting it in the oven, but today I was simply not in the mood to spew oil all over my cooktop.  

Sweet and Tangy Chicken (Oven Version)

1/2 pound bacon
8 chicken thighs (bone in, skin on)

Spices for chicken:
kosher salt
black pepper
granulated garlic
sweet paprika
cayenne pepper
curry powder

Glaze:
1/3 cup honey
3 tablespoons Dijon mustard
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon curry powder
kosher salt
cayenne

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Place the bacon slices in an aluminum baking pan and into the oven.  Let them brown and crisp, then turn over and repeat.  Remove the cooked bacon to drain on paper towels.  Once the bacon fat cools to room temperature, place the chicken into the same baking pan, turning each piece to coat with some of the bacon fat.  Season both sides of the chicken to taste with the spices, and finish with the skin side up.  Place the pan into the oven and bake for 30 minutes.  Remove the pan from the oven and carefully pour off most of the collected juices. Using tongs, turn the chicken pieces skin side down, and return the pan to the oven for another 30 minutes.

Remove the pan from the oven.  Lower the oven temperature to 325 degrees.  Carefully pour off most of the liquid in the pan, and use the tongs to turn the chicken skin side up.  Combine the ingredients for the glaze in a small bowl or glass measuring cup, and mix until smooth.  Spoon over the chicken in the pan, using up all of the glaze.  Place the pan in the oven and bake another 15 minutes for the glaze to set.  If you like, turn on the broiler element for a minute, then immediately remove the pan so the glaze won't burn.  Before you return the pan to the oven, finely chop a few of the cooked bacon strips.  Immediately upon removing the finished chicken from the oven, sprinkle on the bacon bits, and serve.

C is for Cookie. And Crockpot.

I sometimes get ahead of myself with this blogging thing, and end up with any number of drafts.  Eventually I get around to finishing and publishing them, although I have to admit a good number get deleted for any number of reasons.  Too dark, too personal, too likely to cause me trouble.

Part of the problem is that my mind never stops running tapes in my head.  The other problem is that when I am home, I cannot stay out of the kitchen.  Even now as I sit here typing, I feel the pull towards the oven - I've been wanting to bake cookies.  I am forcing myself to stay put.  Besides having already baked corn muffins today, I saved the clams and completed two more recipe blog posts.  I now have six fully completed, ready to go blog posts, each one with a really good recipe.  But I can't stay away from the keyboard anymore than I can resist the pull of the kitchen.

Also, I am trying to keep panic at arm's length.  Never fails the night before return to work after a weekend.  Especially when I am facing a heavy docket including a couple of trials and I don't have my files here at home.   Oh hell.  To quote Scarlett O'Hara "tomorrow is another day."  And "Bizarre Foods" is on.

I still want to bake cookies.

That inspired me to put some more work into my recipe collection project.  The last group of printed recipes to be placed into plastic sheet protectors is desserts - cakes, cookies, pies, puddings.  It's a pretty thick stack of paper, and this is definitely going to require more than one ring binder.  After going through all of the "tried" recipes - the "to-be-tried" pile still has to be worked on - I came across so many cookie recipes I forgot I had.  Old favorites from back in the day when I would bake 600 cookies for Christmas parties and gift-giving.  Some family heirlooms, like my grandmother's moon cookies and my mother-in-law's butter cookies.  The nut cup recipe I got from that really obnoxious junior broker from Connecticut.  Four types of oatmeal cookies.  Macaroons (not to be confused with French macarons).  Someday soon, I am simply going to have to break down and bake some cookies.  Maybe tomorrow.

Ha ha, no really.  I got home at 10 PM.  No warm sweet aroma of cookies wafting from my kitchen for me.  And I had kind of pinned it down to a white cake mix cream cheese cookie with dried cherries and blueberries.  An Independence Day cookie in January.  Or, assuming I had no time to pick up the dried fruit, a mixture of chips - semi sweet chocolate, milk chocolate, vanilla chips, and butterscotch chips.  Spotted cream cheese cookies.

Maybe this weekend.

Pantry Plunder Split Pea Vegetable Soup - Another Corner of Crockpot Heaven

This is the weekend I made some inroads on the contents of my freezer and pantry.  As much as my heart was yearning for a shopping spree at BJ's, my head was reminding me of the substantial reserves I really needed to work through, to facilitate a well-timed stock rotation.  Out came my last two pillow packs of Perdue chicken thighs plus a package of bacon chunks I picked up during our trip home from Georgia in late October.  I raided my vegetable drawer, my pantry, and my spice cabinet.  I have other plans for the chicken, but here is what I did with the rest of my pantry plunder:

Into the crockpot with you!

2 large stalks celery, chopped
1 large carrot, chopped
1 large onion, chopped
2 medium gold potatoes, peeled and diced
up to one pound smoked bacon pieces (my package was frozen)
1 - 12 oz. bag green split peas, rinsed
2 small bay leaves
1 large plum tomato, diced
1 cup frozen black-eyed peas
1 envelope Lipton Recipe Secrets Vegetable Soup & Dip Mix
1 tablespoon dried thyme
black pepper, granulated garlic, parsley flakes, sugar
1 - 32 oz. box chicken stock
2-3 cups water

Put the ingredients in the crockpot in the order given. Cover and cook on low for 6 to 7 hours, which means 8:30 to 9:30 tonight.  We are going out to dinner with friends, so I'll save room to taste the soup when we get back.

At 9:00, the soup wasn't quite done, so my plan is to let it keep cooking for a total of 12 hours on low.  Stir the soup two or three times over the course of the 12 hours.  The split peas should be dissolving into the soup as you stir.  Taste and re-season as you go.

We had a pleasant dinner with our friends, but sad to say, I am not about to recommend the restaurant.  All that joie de vivre was about the good company and the fine wine.  The food ranged from one really good dish (shrimp) to a just okay dish (the lamb shank) and ending with two disappointing dishes (the linguine with white clam sauce, and the pork milanese).  The saddest part of this culinary misadventure was that this fairly new Italian restaurant had replaced Cat Cora's Kouzzina.  We will miss Kouzzina, which served really good Greek and Mediterranean food.  As to the new restaurant, there are much better Italian restaurants in the area, off Disney property.  And let's face it, my preparation of linguine with white clam sauce is much better than theirs - or anyone else's, for that matter.  The late, lamented Tarantino's used to do a really fine linguine with clam sauce, but somewhere along the way the recipe changed and was not quite as good anymore.  Oh, how I miss the good old days when Tarantino's still occupied a tiny corner of an old sheet metal building on the corner of Oak and John Young, and consistently turned out the best Italian food anywhere.

Well, it actually took over 13 hours, but the soup is finished and I am very happy with the result.  So good!  And the bacon chunks are like perfect bites of ultra-tender pork belly.  Swallow and smile, my friends, while you send thanks to the crockpot gods.

Lovely Lemon Cupcakes with Lemon Curd Filling and Lemon Frosting

Happy day after a long weekend!  Faced with a tough morning, and a tougher week, I am charging ahead with a Positive Mental Attitude.  Looking forward to the challenges!  Excited about the day!  Fear is not an option!   The early bird gets the worm, or at least the court files.  Charge!

Alrighty then, once I have some coffee, I'm sure I can pull this off.  Yes.  Right.  Ummm ... I'll let you know how this works out.  First, coffee.  Second, a recipe to try.

I am beginning to wonder if adding the pudding mix to cake mix is such a good idea.  Almost all cake mixes have pudding in the mix, and actually have for over 20 years.  This recipe bakes up a lovely lemon cupcake with a nice even crumb to it, and it was really plenty rich without the pudding.

I made these for Robert, because almost all of my other cupcake experiments have involved chocolate and even coffee.  The least I can do for the man who is still the Best Husband in the World.

Lovely Lemon Cupcakes with Lemon Curd Filling and Lemon Frosting

1 - 18.25 oz. package yellow cake mix (with pudding in the mix)
1 package lemon gelatin
2/3 cup canola oil
2/3 cup hot water
4 extra large eggs

1 - 2 jars Dickinson's Lemon Curd
2 - 16 oz. tubs lemon frosting

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Set up two 12 cup muffin tins with paper liners.  Place the cake mix, gelatin, oil, water and eggs in a large bowl.  Beat to combine for about a minute, scrape down the sides, then beat for 2 minutes with an electric mixer.  Portion the batter evenly, then bake for 18 to 22 minutes.  Cool the cupcakes in the tins for about 15 minutes, then remove to wire racks to cool completely.

It was as this point I threw the cupcakes into the freezer, because I wasn't feeling up to filling and frosting.  It's not necessary to the success of the recipe, but I would recommend holding off the filling part until the next day.  You want the cake to be totally firm and set.

Now, using a small sharp knife or the large end of a metal piping tip, remove part of the cake from the middle.  Pipe some lemon curd into each cupcake.

Stir the frosting till smooth and use to finish off the cupcakes.  Gorgeous and delicious.

Bat Out Of Hell - Meatloaf Ring filled with Peas and Corn

This is less of a recipe and more of a suggestion.  When I threw it together earlier this week, I was feeling grim, and only the thought of spoiled meat propelled me forward like a bat out of hell.  I measured nothing, nor did I take even one diddly photograph.

More metal sculpture, no meatloaf

If you've ever made a meatloaf, you know it is an inexact science.  Which kind of ground meat are you using, and what is the fat content?  Are you using large or jumbo eggs?  Heinz or DelMonte ketchup?  (If you're not using Heinz ketchup, we have nothing to say to each other.)  Meatloaf is one of those dishes that can't be precisely measured, nor tasted while preparing it.  You need to rely on look and touch, along with memory of what worked well for you last time.  While I never make meatloaf the same way, there are some basics I can always go back to.  Ground beef, no pork, veal, or poultry.  Grated onion.  An egg.  Heinz ketchup.  Matzo meal.  Kosher salt, black pepper and granulated garlic.  Meatloaf is never an elegant dish.  It is a Mom's dish, one of the best ways to feed a family without pulling every spice out of your cabinet or having to construct a mise en place for Iron Chef Morimoto.  Meatloaf is the kind of dish you eat when your jaws are tired from talking too much in court or when you are recovering from extensive dental work.  Those are also the times you serve the meatloaf with mashed potatoes.

Swirling Doodle

Chelsea Doodle

This meatloaf is a little bit fancier than that, but not by much.  It was heartwarming, but not boring.  It was pretty, but not precious.  It had good flavor without blowing off the top of your head.

Meatloaf Ring filled with Peas and Corn

1 1/2 pounds ground market beef
1/2 onion, grated
1/2 carrot, grated
1 jumbo egg
3/4 cup Heinz ketchup
3/4 cup Italian bread crumbs
kosher salt, black pepper, granulated garlic - to taste
1 envelope Lipton's Vegetable Soup & Dip mix (crush the unopened envelope to break up the contents a bit)

Heinz Balsamic Vinegar ketchup
3 slices bacon, cut into quarters

1 cup each frozen green peas and corn

Your favorite recipe of mashed potatoes, from 4 large potatoes (I made mine with sour cream, horseradish, and chives.  Just an idea.)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Combine the first eight ingredients in a medium bowl. Using your hands, mix well, incorporating all the ingredients.  Wet your hands with some cool water to work the meat mixture.  Pat the meat down into the bowl, cover the bowl with an aluminum baking dish, and turn over so the meat falls into the pan.  Using your hands, form the meat into an even ring with a center large enough to hold the peas and corn.  Wet your hands one last time and smooth the meat, closing any cracks.

Squirt a good amount of the balsamic vinegar ketchup on top of the meatloaf, and smooth all over the meat.  Drape the bacon slices at even intervals all around the meatloaf ring.  Place in the preheated oven and bake for an hour, until the meat is cooked through and the bacon is starting to render and crisp.

Cook the peas and corn according to package directions, drain, and add a bit of butter and salt.  With a large spoon, remove excess cooking liquid from the meatloaf baking dish, with extra care to the center of the ring.  Spoon the peas and corn into the center of the ring, and pile mashed potatoes on either side.  And for God's sake, take a picture!

Way Past Midnight Musings - Crockpot Beer Brats

January 17, 2015 - Here it is 3:36 AM, and I cannot sleep.  Instead, I am in the kitchen, slicing onions and peppers and opening a package of Johnsonville beer bratwurst.  I am wide awake, and indeed it is my own fault.  I should known better than to skip the Melatonin, to stay glued to my iPad, to read the news, to listen to music, all when my body and mind need so desperately to unwind.

Crockpot Beer Brats

1 large onion, halved and sliced lengthwise

1/2 each of red, yellow, and green bell peppers, sliced lengthwise

1 package of Johnsonville Beer Bratwurst, each brat cut on a long diagonal into 4 slices

1 - 15 oz. can German potato salad

2 tablespoons each white vinegar and water

sugar, kosher salt, black pepper

parsley flakes

Add the onion, peppers, and bratwurst to a 4 quart crockpot.  Add the German potato salad.  To the can, add the vinegar, water, sugar, salt and pepper.  Swish the liquid inside the can to catch any remaining sauce. Pour this into the crockpot.  Sprinkle parsley flakes over the top.  Cover and cook on low until 10:00 AM, or approximately 6 hours.  Stir well and season to taste with salt and pepper.

This is a crockpot version of a super easy recipe I've been making on top of the stove for at least 30 years.  I guess I'll find out sometime tomorrow if this version works.

IT WORKED!!

For the most part, the potatoes broke up and gently melted into the sauce, which is what I was hoping for.  I think I would love this dish over my homemade spaetzle.  That's a tomorrow task, along with the chicken. Tonight we eat out.  Whoo hoo.

And now from the Feeling Sorry For Myself Department: For all my positive talk about the advantages of getting older, I live in (sometimes) silent fear of the side effects.  Whatever the direct cause - menopause, fibro fog, the early glimmerings of inevitable senile dementia, or even my worst nightmare, Alzheimer's - my mind just ain't what it used to be.  My memory, my cognitive abilities, my mental energy, all of these seem to me to be ever-so-slightly impaired.  I am half the woman I used to be, and I'm not just talking about my weight.  I find certain tasks more difficult to complete, especially in a timely manner and I don't like that.

So I guess all that stuff about getting older being a liberating experience is just so much false bravado.  Sure, I like getting senior discounts when I'm booking cruises and hotel rooms, but that's hardly a fair trade off for aging brain cells.

Or maybe this is all just the damn fibromyalgia playing with my emotions.

Somehow, It's Friday - Crockpot Eggplant Parmesan

January 16, 2015 - Somehow, it's Friday, and I have a long weekend ahead of me.  I would jump for joy, but that would set off a chain reaction of angry nerve endings and aggravated muscles.  If I could jump for joy, I would have continued in taekwando; sadly, I can do neither.

With my backache and foggy brain, I am struggling to complete a project here at my desk, and my slowness is making me unhappy.  I brought lunch - some of the eggplant parmesan - so I could keep working without having to pick up food outside.  I am taking a short break to swallow some Advil and clear my head.  The eggplant is delicious.  I am no vegetarian, but this dish could make me forget meat, at least temporarily.  Possibly until dinner time.

My little shawl is starting to take form.  As the rows get longer, the color changes will become more dramatic.  Eventually, they will become long enough that the color changes will defuse again.  Should make for an interesting finished piece.  Knitting during TV watching has been pleasant. Except when the Magic are playing, because then I've got to stand up and holler at the screen.

Back to work at my desk.  Those Advil did not go down well, and I cannot guarantee they will stay down.  What a completely craptastic day.

One thing - maybe the only thing - that was kind of good was lunch.  I'm back into my crockpot phase, and this time I adapted my eggplant parm for long cooking.  It came out so good, I surprised myself.  From a preparation standpoint, I loved not having to bread and fry it first.

Crockpot Eggplant Parmesan

2 eggplants (long rather than wide shaped), peeled, sliced lengthwise into 8 slices each
roasted garlic olive oil
Italian flavor bread crumbs
1 - 24 oz. jar spicy marinara sauce
about a pound of different Italian cheeses - I used sliced provolone, shredded mozzarella, grated Romano, and shaved Parmesan - basically the contents of my cheese drawer.

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.   Brush some of the garlic oil onto a rimmed baking sheet.  Lay out half the eggplant slices and brush with more of the oil.  Sprinkle on bread crumbs, then turn and repeat.  Place in the oven and bake until the eggplant begins to soften and the crumbs turn medium brown.  Remove from the oven, turn the slices over and bake. Repeat with the remaining slices.

Place a small amount of the sauce in the bottom of the crock.  Layer with 4 of the eggplant slices,  ladle on one-fourth of the remaining sauce, then cover with one or two of your chosen cheeses.  Repeat until the eggplant is used up, ending with a sliced cheese layer.  Cover and cook on low for 4 to 5 hours.  Check after 4 hours for the doneness of the eggplant, then add only as much time needed for it to be done the way you like it.  It should still be a little toothsome.

You can serve this from the crockpot or carefully move to a baking dish and slide into the oven for a few minutes to brown the cheese slightly. Either way, this is an awesome dish.

(No, I did not bother to salt the slices - I always look to buy "male" eggplants, which have less seeds and are therefore less bitter.  Male eggplants do not have a "dimple" in their bottom rounded end.)

Shake Your (Metal) Booty - Chocolate Mint Birthday Cupcakes

January 15, 2015 - Some days are from hell and others are all right.  I would have to say that today didn't suck.  I got stuff done.  I had a few bad moments, and at the end of the day I lost my will to run by Publix for eggs, but I got stuff done. And now it feels good to be home because frankly, I'm running out of steam.

I took these shots last week when the sky was blue and the air was clear. This piece, titled "Copacabana Wave" is the latest tenant on that particular cement block in back of my office complex.  The photo simply does not do it justice.

I did not see this particular sculpture until walking back to my car I happened to look up, and glad I did.  This evoked a whole range of emotions from laughing out loud and big smiles to WTF??, and "nice booty."

I am beginning to end my cupcake cycle, so here is one of the two easy recipes I worked on this week - chocolate mint birthday cupcakes.

Chocolate Mint Birthday Cupcakes

1 - 18.25 oz. pkg. white cake mix
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup canola oil
3 large eggs (I had to use 2 jumbos instead)
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
chocolate mint chips, optional

2 - 16 oz. tubs Hershey's Special Dark Frosting

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon pure peppermint extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Set up muffin tins with 24 paper liners. Combine the cake mix, sour cream, oil, eggs and 1 teaspoon vanilla in a large bowl.  Combine on low for one minute; scrape down the sides, then beat for 2 minutes.  Portion into the muffin tins.  If you wish, pleace 4 or 5 chocolate mint chips on top of each cupcake.  Bake for 18 to 22 minutes. Cool in the tins for 15 minutes, then remove the cupcakes to wire racks to cool completely.

Stir the frosting together with the extracts.  Frost the cooled cupcakes using your favorite method.  I like to pipe the frosting onto the cupcakes using a large star tip.  I also placed one chocolate mint chip on the very top of the frosting.

These were so good even I ate a whole one.  And most important, the birthday girl loved them.

Lovely Lemon Cupcakes coming to a blog post real soon.

Strolling Down the Chocolate Minty Mile

January 14, 2015 - It is so difficult to describe what it feels like.  It feels bad.  There are much worse pains, for sure.  It is just that these go on and on and on.  They make you tired.

I am so tired.

What makes it worse - or more weird - are the moments of  joy scattered in between the hours of  mind-numbing discomfort.  A good morning in court with our new judge.  A crazy happy greeting from my furry kids.  An order from the Fifth District Court of Appeals affirming a favorable ruling.  Sitting on the couch watching TV with my husband.  Laughing with my office peeps.  Listening to music.  Snapping pictures of Kissimmee street sculpture.  Exchanging Mel Brooks' quotes with my son.

Today I have the trifecta.  Pain from the back of my head to my lower back. Insane itching along my entire left arm and hand.  Constant movement in my feet and legs.  There's a little fibro fog in my head, but I can still function.  Sort of, anyway.

The eggplants are still sitting, unmolested, in my fridge while the lemon cupcakes shiver in frozen nakedness, still hoping I will cap each of them with a lemon frosting hat.  "Progress" is nothing more than a word of aspiration.

My back was breaking and then it wasn't.  The ibuprofen kicked in all of a sudden. (Insert smiley face).  Better living through chemistry indeed.  If only this blessed relief could outrun the inevitable exhaustion.

If only ... well, I may pay for it later, but I pushed forward to finish two projects that just had to get done.  The eggplant parmesan is all set up in the crock, but I'm leaving that in the refrigerator overnight and will fire up the crockpot tomorrow afternoon.  It should only take four hours, even coming right out from the fridge.  The other project involved cupcakes but not those lovely lemon jobs.  Those still wait to be properly dressed.

Tomorrow we are going out to lunch to celebrate a couple of January birthdays, including my friend Terry.  Usually, come Christmas I fill up a bag with all different variations of the chocolate mint theme for her, but this year I just did not make it.  So I baked some cupcakes tonight to help celebrate her birthday in chocolate minty style.  If nothing else, they came out awfully purty.

The cake is a basic white sour cream cake, made with a white cake mix, scooped into pretty pink paper and spotted with some chocolate mint chips.  The topping starts with Hershey's Special Dark frosting, mixed with some vanilla and pure peppermint extracts, and then piped extra high for a dramatic finish.  I just hope these taste as good as they look.

The eggplant is your basic layered parm with sauce and cheese, but I treated the eggplant a little differently with roasted garlic oil and Italian bread crumbs, then a short run in a 400 degree oven.  I also cleaned out my deli drawer of Italian cheeses, so no two cheese layers are exactly the same.

I'll type up the recipes tomorrow.  Right now I'm watching the Magic play the Houston Rockets.  It's been a nail-biter since tip-off.

Sinking

I guess I need to make this one point, out here, about the events that have occurred in France.  As an American, I am embarrassed beyond words that neither the President nor the Vice President attended the rally.  It was wrong, so terribly wrong.

And that's all I am going to say about that.

My cooking has been erratic this past week.  Normally I am all preplanned and organized about my weekly cooking, and I mise en place like nobody's business, but this week I staggered around in a massive fibro fog, tossing frozen wings in a crockpot and shoving unfrosted cupcakes in the freezer.  I managed to throw together an edible meatloaf, but I haven't passed on the recipe because I'm not entirely sure what I did.  Fortunately, meatloaf is a most forgiving creature.

Even now, feeling a bit better, I can't be sure that come the end of my workday I will be up to more cooking.  I really want to frost those cupcakes, which are lovely and lemon and made specifically for my non-chocolate craving husband.  And I really must prepare this recipe for crockpot eggplant parmesan, as I have two perfect eggplants in the refrigerator and all the other ingredients ready to go before the eggplants collapse and grow fuzz.  I picked those eggplants most carefully and I hope they really are male eggplants, which have a lot less seeds and are therefore less bitter.  I love eggplant, but I don't always have the patience to run through a 3-part breading station and fry fry fry.  Not in the mood.  I have a headache.  This recipe is somewhat less complicated to prepare and has the added benefit of being slow-cooked in my favorite kitchen appliance.  My heart says yes, my back says "who do you think you're fooling, you old bag?"

Breathe Deep - Oy Vey Teriyaki Chicken Wings

Welcome sulphur dioxide,
Hello carbon monoxide
The air, the air is everywhere
Breathe deep, while you sleep, breathe deep

Can anyone explain to me why so many of us human beings are constructed to be so damn emotionally fragile?  Life is hard sometimes, and it doesn't help when our body chemistry betrays us as well.  Why should it be that the first thought of the day has to be "deep breath ... stay calm ... deep breath"?

The news is depressing.  Anarchy in France's so-called "no go zones".  Nancy Pelosi talking about it being a good time to raise the Federal gas tax.  Arguments about how political correctness is impairing the ability to fight terrorism.  Debates about the permissible consequences of free speech.  The world is making me nervous.  Deep breath.  Stay calm.

Om mani padme hum ...

This is the chronic pain syndrome, this is the fibromyalgia, this is something, some syndrome that fogs my brain and leaves me wrung out in every cell of my body.

I have been knitting.  Not too much, and not too fast, but knitting nonetheless, which I find soothing.

I have been stuck on this one post, which has been written and rewritten several times.  I think it must be time to wrap this one up and move on.  I haven't done much cooking the past few days, and no, we're not starving.  In one of those moments where the headache was blinding and my body hurt from  my shoulders to the back of my ankles, I literally threw together this crockpot dish.  To call it a recipe would be a joke, so consider having a chuckle or two while you eat them.

Oy Vey Teriyaki Chicken Wings

3 pounds frozen chicken wings, do not defrost
1 bottle Soy Vey brand Island Teriyaki Sauce

Coat the inside of a 6 quart crockpot with non stick spray.  Add all of the frozen wings. Pour the bottle of teriyaki sauce over all.  Cover and cook on low for 6 hours.  Stir occasionally during the cooking.  Remove the wings and some of the sauce to a baking pan.  Put under the broiler for a few minutes until the wings crisp up a bit.  Turn over each wing and return to the broiler.  You can serve them immediately, or refrigerate overnight and remove the excess fat the next day.

No News is Good News

January 8, 2015:  My back has been breaking a good part of the day.

All I wanted to do, all day, was go home, empty my mind.  Didn't work out the way I planned. Charles Krauthammer wasn't at his usual spot on Special Report with Bret Baier, and Greta Van Susteran did something to her hair color, but she's doing good coverage on the terrorist attack in Paris.  I missed Charles. Yes, I watch Fox News.  I watch a lot of news.  I read online news from the local Orlando Sentinel and the New York Times and CNN.  Old habit die hard, and I grew up in a home where my Pop read two or three newspapers every day and Walter Cronkite was a nightly visitor.   I followed in his footsteps, at least until I developed an allergy to newsprint ink.  Fortunately for me, cable TV and the internet came along or I would have perished from news deprivation.

Today's news is bad, and yesterday's news was bad.  Despite my kidding around on the blog, I am really a very serious person with very strong feelings about the type of events that show up on the news.  I don't discuss them much, at least not in public fora, because I am likely to offend somebody, and I don't like to do that for a variety of reasons.  But I think it's safe to say that I am very upset by the news.  Angry, really angry.  Time to move along before I become indiscreet.

I did not cook or bake today, because, well, my back has been breaking.  Work was stressful.  No time for lunchtime knitting.  Heck, no time for lunch.

January 9, 2015:  Another day, another backache, another panic attack.  God bless understanding co-workers!  The news is a little better.  The French police are not the buffoons we've been led to believe in Pink Panther movies.  Unemployment is down.  Gas prices are down.  I've managed to keep my food down.  

I did not cook today.  When I got home from the office, I ate a little, I knit a little, and then I napped a lot, with my little Chelsea girl tucked in next to me.  I've been thinking about eggplant parm for the last few days, and chocolate mint cupcakes.  It should be a tasty weekend.

Interregnum of the Profits - Butter Pecan Cupcakes with Creamy Nutella Frosting

January 7, 2015:  "Hey Dad, somebody wants to get their taxes done tomorrow, is that okay?"  Of course it is okay, and with those words from our daughter Betty, we enter the Interregnum.  The Fifth Season.  The No-Cruise Zone.  This year, Tax Season promises to be extra-special, thanks to the cluster-f*** known as Obamacare.

My husband, also known as The Taxman, has been getting geared up for this annual event since early last fall.  Despite the inevitable aggravation of high pressure number-crunching, he really does thrive on this, sort of like the way I thrive on doing between eight and thirteen trials a month for an eight month period.

Thriving is not what I'm doing today.  I was beset by the Insane Itching for a good part of the night, which impacted the quality of sleep, so I am a trifle cranky.  I am suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous bulls*** from an outside source.  I am, however, extraordinarily proud and pleased that I did not respond in kind.  But ohhhh, the temptation.  And then, I have been working on a particular drafting project for a number of days, and have run into a ginormous glitch.  Big surprise, right?

Time to find my Zen Zone.

Back on the needles, albeit the smaller ones and I like the results.  I have to get used to the color changes, which occur more frequently than from a ball of Noro Silk Garden.  I also have to get a new bottle of Advil, because my head is starting to crack and my eyes are protecting themselves by going all squinty on me.  No time for lunchtime knitting, I'm afraid.

So you know that lately I've been hooked on cupcakes.  Today, when I ran into Walmart to get a nice big bottle of Advil, I ran into the grocery section to find a new flavor of cake mix.  Always experimenting, that's me.  The basic sour cream recipe works perfectly, as I found when I tried it with chocolate and then with white cake mix.  The butter pecan mix, however, comes in the new, smaller size, which requires adjustment to the other ingredients.  I can't take credit for this - I can say that it works really well.  I got 22 cupcakes from this mix, but then I did not add a cup of chips as I did to the other two recipes.

Butter Pecan Cupcakes with Creamy Nutella Frosting

1 (15.25 ounce) package butter pecan cake mix 

1 (3.4 ounce) package instant vanilla pudding mix

3/4 cup sour cream

3/4 cup vegetable oil

3 extra large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon pure almond extract

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line muffin tin with paper liners.

2. With a hand mixer in a large bowl, beat together the cake and pudding mixes, sour cream, oil, eggs, vanilla and almond extracts and water. Beat for about two minutes on medium speed until well combined.

3. Using a large cookie scoop, distribute the batter between 22 muffin wells.

4. Bake in preheated oven for 18-22 minutes or until the tops of the cakes spring back when lightly touched. Allow cupcakes to cool inside muffin tins for about 20 minutes.

5. Remove cupcakes from muffin tins and allow to fully cool on a wire rack. Once cupcakes are cool, top with the Creamy Nutella Frosting, recipe below.

1 - 16 oz. tub creamy vanilla frosting
1/3 cup Nutella
2-3 tablespoons half and half

Stir all of the ingredients together until completely combined and smooth. Frost the cooled cupcakes using your favorite method.

The Number of the Beast

How often have you heard the phrase "older and wiser?"  So often, I imagine, that you have come to believe that the one naturally follows the other.  Well, don't believe the hype.

I stand before you, the perfect example of how oxymoronic the phrase "older and wiser" can be.  Without going into details, let us just say that I allowed my enthusiasm to override my good sense.  You would think I would know better, but it seems I am fully capable at 62 of repeating the same types of errors I made at 16 and 26.  My most profuse apologies.

From the "You Can't Make This Stuff Up" Department:  So my day started out a trifle cloudy, and thanks to My Friend Fibro, my back and neck were hurting.  I also found myself facing an arduous problem at work, and had to keep chanting to myself "don't get nervous, don't get nervous."  So I didn't, and then I managed to lessen the potential for panic, and figured I could actually go out to pick up lunch.  I rarely do that anymore, but I had to move the car anyway, and I wanted another cup of coffee, so why not?  And I ordered a sandwich, because I never do that anymore, and I may never do that again:

Freaked out the regular counter girl, and I think she was relieved someone else got the job of actually filling the order.  It was a pretty good sandwich; you might even say it was a hell of a sandwich.