Cindy's Very Bad, Terrible, No-Good, Awful Week

This has been the first time I've had a cold since fibromyalgia messed up my life, and it has turned into one of the worst colds ever.  It feels like the flu, with all the muscle aches and vicious headaches. My skin hurts, my throat is burning raw and any coughing sets off more pain, and my hair hurts. I also have almost no balance or hand control, nor the strength to remain standing. I have been crying for three days. Today is Thursday, and for a brief moment I feel a bit better, at least as long as I do not try to get out of bed. I'm still terribly dizzy, and more than happy to leave the driving to someone else.

I did some online research on having a cold with fibromyalgia,and it seems we all experience the  exact same super-sized symptoms. We are unable to find some degree of relief, in part because the pain is erupting from the fibro rather than the cold; the cold is just making it worse and it was bad enough. This has given me a whole new perspective on what it means to be an invalid. Helpless, hopeless, and deeply depressed.

This is a pretty wicked cold all by itself; Robert has it, and has been advised by many of his clients that it is "going around" and there is really nothing that can be done for it. The fibro just enhances the experience.

Now it is Saturday morning, the first time since Thursday morning I have felt strong enough to lift and open the iPad. Rob and I had to miss Guy Fieri at the Dr. Phillip's Center on Thursday night. The narcolepsy from Wednesday took over, and while I do not know what today is going to bring, once I got back from the therapist Wednesday evening and posted the last blog entry, I crawled into bed and any attempts to crawl out set off incredible stabbing pains and dizziness.  I have a heaviness in my head and shoulders that can only be described as having my former 275 pound body sitting on top of them while hugging the top of my head. The few times I've climbed upstairs (having made the earlier mistake of walking downstairs) the pain and muscle exhaustion was almost unbearable.

Rob has been terribly sick as well.  I'm not sure how he is managing to plow through tax season, but I know he is taking naps during lunch. Neither one of us has eaten more than a bite of two since this virus landed.

I had let my instructor know I would not make Tai Chi class on Thursday because of the Guy Fieri performance but now I know I would not have made it anyway. Friday night he called to tell us he had to cancel Saturday's class, which is just as well since I still don't know if I can stay standing for more than a couple of minutes at a time.

I apologize for these last few posts, but when the most exciting thing I can write about is pain, it's bound  to be a bummer. Let's hope tomorrow is better. I would love to start cooking again, but the thought of handling a long sharp knife is still a bit scary-making.

Cindy's Very Bad, Terrible, Awful Day

WTF is wrong with me? Oh yes, that's right, I have fibromyalgia but I was feeling good, and I really tried to avoid over-activity, and I still ended up hurting like I'd been beaten with a baseball bat by someone big and powerful and angry. You know, like the Hulk.

The pain crept back yesterday after several glorious days, so I took the muscle relaxer and half a dozen Advil and I stayed on the couch with my feet up, thinking happy thoughts. When I had to walk, I did so lightly, conscious of the admonitions of my Tai Chi instructor. But just bending down to check for something on a lower shelf in my pantry caused my evil headache and backache to rise to the surface, and a sharp pain it was. Damn, it's bad.

Wednesday is a really big day on my schedule, and I have to plan carefully how I expend my energy.  For someone who thrived on being a hyperactive multitasker for at least 35 years, this is a bitter pill to swallow. But Wednesday is the day I see my therapist, and missing that is not an option, unless I am on a cruise and mentally planned for my absence several months before.  Wednesday is also the day after Tuesday, the evening of which I go to Tai Chi class. Both of these involve getting in the car and driving a distance, and I'm sure you can see how I have to be careful throwing around spoons. So Wednesday morning is not a block of time for which I plan anything more strenuous than getting out of bed and getting dressed because I need to leave by 2 PM and I have to be alert to drive on the Thruway. Not anywhere as exciting as starting a TPR trial with 10 or 20 witnesses. I miss the TPR trials, I really do, especially when my friend Chris was there on behalf of the Guardian ad Litem Program.

Wednesday is also the day I do any shopping I might have in the Dr. Phillips/Windermere/Bay Hill area, so I don't park too far from the therapist's office and I use my cane, thus saving my spoons for Whole Foods, Fresh Market, Trader Joe's, Einstein's Bagels or Toojay's.  

Good plan, eh? Well, fuhgeddaboutit! Wednesday morning was extraordinarily horrible,  The cold which has been lurking in my system exploded with full force and effect. My muscles, my joints, my eyes, and my head causing me pain, both sharp and dull all at the same time.  A combo platter. I wept in my room, and all the way downstairs. I took Baclofen and Advil in addition to my regular morning medication. Despite the muscle aches, I don't think this is the flu - I don't get the flu - but rather, this is what happens when someone with fibromyalgia gets what is otherwise a mild cold.  Unless this is the flu - hell, I'm a lawyer, not a doctor - but either way, this is one of the worst days I've ever had.  Back to bed, and I pray I'll be well enough to make it to the therapist. My plans for a nice hot shower, an early trip to Publix, and all the rest, are on hold.        

Did anyone notice that Bernie Sanders is playing footsie with the "Reverend" Al Sharpton? Think about that.

I pushed myself to do more than I should have and I feel very bad. I am so glad to have made it home; there were times I wasn't sure I would make it. My reflexes are absolutely squirrelly and I've had to fight repeated bouts of narcolepsy.  I sincerely hope your day was better than mine.

Throwing Cold Water On "The Bern" - Young Women, Wake Up And Smell The Damn Coffee

Checking my blog stats today, it appears that Vladimir Putin has lost interest in me, but I'm still a minor sensation in Ireland. Very minor. In fact, Poland has slipped past it, which is a little weird, but not as weird as the appearance of the United Arab Emirates. One brave soul in the UAE peeking in on how to make kasha varnishes and real Jewish potato latkes. That tickles me, it really does.

While my mind is still in happy mode, my body is finally feeling the effects of my being up and about, walking a little more than usual. First, I have what is still a mild cold, which popped up yesterday, about the same time I passed out on the couch for an unscheduled nap.  Second, my back is hurting to the degree that I took the muscle relaxer at lunch time.  

I really have been trying to conserve my spoons. There was no cooking yesterday, nor do I have plans for today more elaborate than using the microwave to reheat my coffee. What I did do today was stand on my feet for too long while I finally got to the task of making up cookie trays for the office. Now I just have to gather enough spoons to drive over there (4 minutes, really) to deliver the sweets and enjoy a little visit.

I have been immersed in politics - how can anyone avoid it? - and of course today is the New Hampshire primary, which HRC is expected to lose. There's been a whole hoo-hah going on regarding the way former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, and Gloria Steinham addressed the younger generation of women who are supporting Bernie Sanders instead of Hillary Clinton. Since I am part of the generation that spent time hammering with our fists on the glass ceiling - I agree with both of those ladies, although they might have expressed themselves a bit inartfully. So let me address today's young women: at another time, I might be gratified that you are supporting Bernie Sanders despite the fact that he is Jewish. There has never been a Jewish president, nor vice-president, so that if Bernie was to actually win the General Election - not likely - it would be historic and deeply meaningful, at least to me.

But before that, I want you to think about the fact that the United States has NEVER had a female president or vice-president, putting us way behind countries like Israel, India, Germany, the Philippines, and the U.K. That we are still lagging behind in this regard infuriates me. For as hard as we women fought in the sixties and seventies, and for all the achievements we made - finally seeing a woman appointed to the Supreme Court, finally seeing a woman (the aforementioned Ms. Albright) appointed as the all-important Secretary of State - we cannot get passed the glass ceiling to the ultimate goal. The one woman who is in the best position to make this happen is Hillary Clinton.

I am not going to pretend that I was not bitter when Barack Obama swooped in and won the Democratic nomination in 2008. It occurred to me then and since that even in this essentially racist nation, the voters would rather see a black man than a woman as President. I have said this many times since then, but I still believe that women are the last disenfranchised minority in the United States.

Young women, did any of you take offense when Carly Fiorina was excluded from the recent Republican debate by the ABC network? Regardless of her being Republican, you should have; you should have been FURIOUS.

Think about all of this before you go into the voting booth.

Damn, that Baclofen really worked; I am able to sit or stand without tears coming to my eyes.

I am about to exchange one soapbox for another: Beyonce's disgraceful performance at the Super Bowl halftime.  Honoring the Black Panthers - wrong time and place. Record whatever you wish, make your video, offer everything to the public for sale so that people have a choice as to whether they want to subject themselves to that content - but don't force all those millions of football fans, looking forward to the halftime show, to watch your offensive political statement. That's not the way MLK rolled, and neither should you.                

(I'm not into public body-shaming, but Beyoncé, damn, girl, your booty is just too fat for that costume, and what's with the thunder thighs on your dancers?)

Sometimes, Sunday, a good day

This weather is driving me cray cray! Did I imagine it, or was Siri snickering at me when she gave me today's temperature? Two days ago it was in the eighties and I had to run the AC in the car. Today it is 46 degrees at noon and I feel chilled to the bone.  I don't own a winter coat, but if I did, I would wrap myself in it and go back to sleep.

Despite the cray cray weather, this has been a good day and getting better. Pain has been minimal. Energy level is good. Another day-after-Tai-Chai when I can feel some lasting benefit. The house is warm. I've been playing with my new iPad and it makes me happy. The Magic won in a last-minute nail-biter. And we have a dinner appointment with our very good friends Kathy and Alan at Morimoto's Asia.

Dinner was wonderful, and seeing old friends was the best. Kathy and I met at New Paltz when I was seventeen.  You do the math. We were college roommates; we were in each other's wedding parties. Our husbands became fast friends; I (and later Robert, and even later, with Cory) spent every Christmas Eve with them from the year they got married (1972) until the year we moved to Florida (1991). Their children, all grown up now with kids of their own, still call us aunt and uncle, and that's what Cory calls them. I could go on, but you get the idea: old friends are the best friends.

I had that fibromyalgic rarity, a really good day. I'm going to enjoy this as long as I can.

Congratulations to Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos for winning Super Bowl 50. Time to retire, Peyton, and it's always good to go out on a high note.

The Weeds Are Always Greener In My Own Backyard

My son has a warped sense of humor. Just like mine. Craving a vegetarian lunch, I took the cauliflower out of the fridge and saw that he had certainly understood the reference. This is a proud parenting moment for me, indeed. Harvey Korman is smiling down on us from Heaven.

Speaking of cauliflower and other cruciferous vegetables, I found the nicest surprise in (what's left of) my garden, when I'd gone out to harvest some collards and mustard greens.

It's been a rough season for my garden.  I neglected it scandalously while my health was deteriorating this past autumn, and the cold weather delivered the coup de grace. Some plants enjoyed winter nipping at their nose - cruciferous vegetables love a touch of frost - but everything else basically gave up the ghost.  I've learned not to plant okra, eggplant and tomato that late in the season, no matter if Lowe's and Home Depot are carrying them in their garden nursery.

Kumquat tree 

My garden did the best it could, under the circumstances, and besides a fairly decent amount of collard, mustard, and turnip greens, I found the beginnings of BROCCOLI!!  CAULIFLOWER!! and even a head of CABBAGE!!    Okay, it did freak me out just a bit that my cabbage bears an uncanny resemblance to Audrey II from "Little Shop of Horrors" but as far as I know, the cabbage hasn't started crying "feed me" in Levi Stubbs' voice. It's just a cabbage, after all, not a "mean green mother from outer space." At least that's what I hope.

Broccoli

Cauliflower

Audrey II?

Even the kohlrabi is giving it the old college try, and while the Brussels Sprouts haven't yet appeared, I an confident that they too will make a Grand Entrance. Of course around here, "farm to table" is a two minute trip out the back door.

Kohlrabi

The greens are being turned into the Andouille and Mixed Greens with Creamy Dijon Sauce from my January 16, 2016 blog post except I added more turnip, only one little one came from my garden.

Still have to prepare the creamy Dijon sauce

I did use the smallest turnips I could find in Publix, and they do add a peppery substance to the finished dish that I like very much.

Rob and I'd had to stop in the AT&T store yesterday to straighten out a few problems, and we walked out with a new iPad Pro. Isn't she beautiful? I love her already.

And all of the problems were straightened out. Great place, that AT&T store.