Let the Ravelry Begin! - Slow Cooker Split Pea Soup with Knockwurst

Stay off your feet, Mom. I'll take care of you.

Saturday - I have lost my knitting mojo and I've got to get it back.  Yesterday, I made a deliberate plan to spend some quality time with my circular needles, and brought my project downstairs with me.  And then, despite the fact that it would have done me a lot of good, I did not pick up the knitting even once.

This has been a problem for over a year, since about the time we moved to this house.  So I am wondering if it has anything to do with the fact that I haven't managed to organize my stash. When   we first moved here, I went through all of the yarn, sorted out the stuff I knew I would never use, packed it up and passed it on to someone who is involved in knitting for the troops.  I have a good idea of what I have in both yarn and UFOs (unfinished objects).  I sort of have a plan as to which of the UFOs I am going to finish first.  Except I am finishing nothing. Scarves, shawls, socks - all my favorites - and I can't seem to get a damn thing done.

Well, that has to change. I need inspiration and a big kick in the ass. I started that process by heading over to Ravelry, the best fiber-related site on the Web:

Ravelry is a place for knitters, crocheters, designers, spinners, weavers and dyers to keep track of their yarn, tools, project and pattern information, and look to others for ideas and inspiration. The content here is all user- driven; we as a community make the site what it is. Ravelry is a great place for you to keep notes about your projects, see what other people are making, find the perfect pattern and connect with people who love to play with yarn from all over the world in our forums.

I have been a member for years, and have built up a pretty impressive library of free and paid-for knitting patterns. I used to check in every few days, but when my life started to unravel, so did my knitting mojo.  It's a great place for inspiration, so I'm putting it back on my list of Things To Do.  I have lists for everything, and this is a worthy addition.

In addition to that addition, I have to get back to the Yarn Harlot. Besides all those socks she knocks off every few hours (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little - but just a little), the Harlot also knits sweaters.  I used to knit sweaters, but then I moved to Florida, turned 40, and decided I didn't have to knit anything I didn't really enjoy knitting and had no need for. But Stephanie - the Harlot - lives in Canada, Toronto I think, and there is a constant need for sweaters. And not only does she do gorgeous work, she actually likes knitting sweaters. So next on my list of Things To Do is keeping up with the Harlot. I know how that sounds, but you know what I mean.

I am really, truly feeling grim today. This is one of those days when all I can do is declare fibromyalgia to be the winner and go back to bed. I feel wretched enough that I am going to have to miss a wedding, and I feel bad about that. 

I need soup, so I need to throw a few things in the crockpot. There will be no standing in front of the stove for 8 or 12 hours today.

Slow Cooker Split Pea Soup with Knockwurst

2 cups frozen tricolor pepper and onion blend
1 pound green split peas, rinsed in colander  
1 piece smoked pork neck bone (mine happened to be frozzen)
1 onion, chopped
2 carrots, thinly sliced
1 large stalk celery, thinly sliced
3 large cloves garlic, thinly sliced
9 cups water
2 Knorr chicken bouillon cubes, broken up
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 1/2 teaspoons dried thyme
1 1/2 teaspoon dried marjoram
1/4 teaspoon granulated garlic
1/4 teaspoon Emeril's Cajun Essence
1 bay leaf

Add the ingredients to the crockpot in the order given. Cover and cook on low for 8 hours.

So, after 7 hours, those damn peas were still almost rock-hard. I should have soaked them, but there you are. I threw it on the high setting and sincerely hope it will be done before midnight.

Another 90 minutes on high, the equivalent of three hours on low, and the peas were perfect. I let the soup cool to room temperature and moved the covered crock to the refrigerator for an overnight rest. Tune in tomorrow for the stunning soup-conclusion.

But first ...

Another version of the pinwheel rolls: Ken's Honey Mustard, thinly sliced ham and turkey, well-drained salsa, shredded Swiss cheese, dried chives, black pepper. Bake for 8 minutes, reverse pan, bake 8 more minutes. Let these cool on the silpat-lined baking pan.

A Wasted Friday - Italian Pinwheel Rolls

Friday - Waking up is hard to do. Actually, the waking up part wasn't the problem; it was the getting-out-of-bed part that landed me in a crappy mood. Everything hurts. Everything. Plus I have that oversensitivity to sound thing going today - the dogs barking, the lawn guy and his weed whacker, cars whooshing down Clyde Street, I hate them all.  I am completely crabby. I should be wearing a sign that says "don't start with me, you know how I get."

Also, I am worried about two of my babies. Rob and I are pretty certain that Chelsea's vision is totally gone, except for the ability to see shadows. We knew that was inevitable, as she came to us with a serious eye condition and a bunch of prescriptions. All I can do now is keep her comfortable, which means cleaning both cornea at least twice a day to remove a nasty goo which forms a gelatinous film, sort of like an irregular, opaque contact lens. Needless to say, she doesn't care for the procedure, and I can't blame her.

Woody has lost weight, developed alopecia (losing his hair, like Tuffy) and has taken to living under one of the living room couches for most of the day and night. This is never a good sign.

A big pile of clean dirt (ha, now there's an oxymoron for you!) mysteriously appeared on the garden side of the house. James is going to play in the dirt for the next few days, getting the planting beds ready and then building the second tier., which will bring me one giant step closer to putting in the fall garden. Even working on my planting graphs is not snapping me out of my misery.

You would think I had done enough cooking for a while, but I'm waiting impatiently for a turkey to defrost and in the meantime I keep prowling in and out of the kitchen like a caged lion. Rawwr. I took out 4 cod fillets to defrost, but that still doesn't solve the here-and-now.

Forget the here-and-now.  It's been a bad day for pain, never got better. I've been wasted, as the kids used to say, or at least I wasted the day. Crap.

I'm watching preseason basketball, Wizards and Knicks.  Still a Knicks fan, except when they're playing the Magic. Of course when they play the Nets, I win no matter what happens.  Basketball season, my personal salvation from endless reruns of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. I can't wait to watch my Magic.    

Whether you are busy watching the baseball play-offs or like me, moving into basketball season, you are going to need snacks, and this recipe is a good one.  Lots  of flavor, finger food that doesn't drip, and really easy to prepare. You can change the ingredients with your mood. This is a good time to wander up and down the condiments aisle in your favorite supermarket.

Italian Pinwheel Rolls

1 tube Pillsbury Crescent Dough Sheet
Prepared pesto (basil and/or tomato)
Chopped pepperoni and/or Italian salami
Chopped fried peppers from a jar of Mancini's brand
Chopped black olives
Shredded mozzarella cheese

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Place a silpat on a metal baking sheet.

Roll out the crescent dough sheet so that a short end is facing you. Start by smearing some of the pesto on the dough. Sprinkle some of the mozzarella over the pesto.

Place the peppers and onions and the olives over the cheese, then sprinkle on some more of the cheese to finish. These photos show that you don't need to overload the dough with ingredients.

Carefully roll up the dough, starting at the short end. With a long, very sharp serrated knife, slice the roll into 8 pieces. Place the slices on the silpat. Sprinkle a bit more of the shredded cheese on top of each slice. Bake for 15 to 17 minutes until the dough is golden brown on top. Check that the undersides are not overbaked.

Move to a metal rack to cool.  Serve as is or with some spaghetti sauce for dipping.

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter - Kielbasa and Kraut

This morning I woke up to that feeling of having someone with a large, strong hand squeezing at my heart. I've taken my medication, for what my doctor diagnosed as Barlow's Syndrome, faithfully since November 15, 1981. Except Barlow's Syndrome is mitral valve prolapse and this involves my tricuspid valve.  I'm beginning to think I should have gone to a cardiologist for a second opinion, but I have lived with this for so long, the urgency has sort of disappeared.

Ab, uski jan meri mutti me hai! 

The medication, which is a beta-blocker, is almost always effective except when it isn't. And right now it isn't although it will be soon because I've just taken my morning dose. Except the medication is supposed to be extended release, but lately it doesn't seem to be extending far enough into the day. When I was younger, I could fight through the discomfort and throw my whole self into my job. Unfortunately, those days are gone.        

Today's news was mostly grim, but there was one humorous touch: Republican Kevin McCarthy, the House Majority leader, has withdrawn from the race for Speaker of the House, a position he was geared to move into without issue, following the "retirement" of John Boehner. That was, until he opened his mouth. In what can only be characterized as an "excited utterance", and therefore trustworthy enough to qualify as an exception to the hearsay rule if hearsay had been involved, he blurted out that the House select committee on Benghazi, led by the impossibly coiffed and unbearably self-righteous Trey Gowdy (the man with the most confusing hair in Congress), was an attempt to hurt Hillary Clinton's poll numbers.  I hope Mrs. Clinton sent him a hand-written thank you note. It was probably one of the few times that a politician came out and spoke the unvarnished truth. Oops.

Which brings up the serious question that if the President and the majority of state Governors are subject to term limits, why not the members of Congress?

Chef Paul Prudhomme has passed away at the age of 75. God rest his soul.

Things are quiet around the garden; we are awaiting the delivery of yards and yards of dirt, to fill in and build up the planting boxes. My son, bless him, took on the onerous task of the cat litter box, which I had planned to deal with this morning. I think I can cook, but nothing complicated, and that's why I have planned on kielbasa and kraut, and some Italian pinwheel rolls.

But first, I want to revisit the beef stew. This morning I pulled it out of the refrigerator and proceeded to remove the layer of fat that had conveniently risen to the top and hardened. You can see that some of the seasoning - those are thyme leaves - came with it.  No way to avoid it, and that is why I recommend checking for seasoning after the fat is removed on the second day.  Just a reminder that the beef heart is glorious. I would have no reservations about replacing all of the stew beef with beef heart.

Kielbasa and Kraut

Kielbasa and Kraut is one of the easiest dishes to make, and one that my husband and son will scarf up with alacrity, forsaking all else I've cooked that week. When you look at the ingredients you may go "ick" - who combines sour cream with sauerkraut? - but it works so well, you really should try it at least once.

1 pound sliced kielbasa (I have always used Hillshire Farms for this. Always.)
2 onions, halved and sliced
1 - 1 pound jar sauerkraut, drained but not rinsed (I prefer Silver Floss Bavarian Style)
kosher salt and ground black pepper, to taste
caraway seeds, to taste
1 cup dairy sour cream
1 heaping tablespoon mayonnaise (Hellmann's, please)

Place the onions into the bottom of a deep, no-stick skillet. Cover with the kielbasa. Cover the pan and steam over medium-low heat until the onions are soft. Remove the cover, mix in the sauerkraut, salt, pepper and caraway seeds, and let heat through.

Just before serving, mix the sour cream with the mayonnaise to make a smooth sauce.  Add slowly to the kielbasa, stirring over a low heat.  Add more pepper if necessary.  Serve with some kind of noodle side dish.

The pinwheels ... ahhhhh, I was so sure I had already posted this recipe - I made the first batch last week, took some good photos - that I was surprised when I couldn't find the post. More brain fog, I presume. Anyway, I did make them today, and they came out even better than the first batch, and I will type it all up for tomorrow's blog.

Friendly Fire - Heart to Heart - The Offal Truth About Beef Stew

Wednesday - We've all heard the term "friendly fire." I have no idea what is friendly about bombing your own troops, or those of your allies, so that makes it an oxymoron, "moron" being the operative word. So speaking of morons,  President Obama calls Doctors Without Borders today and apologizes for bombing their hospital in Afghanistan.  "Sorry" don't get the cows milked, Barack old boy. No wonder we can't take out ISIS; we can't differentiate between the good guys and the bad guys.

The price of beef is giving me heart palpitations.  I've never been one to buy expensive steaks and prime ribs for home consumption - I like to enjoy them on those rare occasions we eat out at a good restaurant - but as you all probably know by now, even the so-called cheap cuts have gone sky high.  I am always looking for a way to lower my food budget I (I can hear my husband's guffaw), which has led me to explore the use of offal. You know, those nasty bits that every animal has, like liver, heart, brains (Happy Halloween!), tongue, tripe, kidney, etc.  Some I eat, like liver and tongue, and others I give wide berth.  Lately, I've been wondering about beef heart - after all, it is a muscle just like the meat we normally eat. There is nothing inherently nasty about it, like an intestine. Or brains. And my go-to guy for weird foods, Andrew Zimmern, recommends it highly. (Andrew also recommends insects, eyeballs, and field-dressed squirrels.  On behalf of all the squirrels living in those ginormous trees next to the courthouse, I just say no.)

I love beef stew.  Who doesn't love beef stew? Besides vegans and practicing Hindu, I mean. I have some strong feelings about beef stew. In my mind, a proper beef stew should be able to feed a dozen hungry people with nothing else on the table but napkins and forks.  That doesn't mean I wouldn't load the table up with three kinds of breads, seven sweets and seven sours, a big pile of kraut sveckle or kasha varnishkes, and a 14 pound roast turkey with stuffing. Because I would. I just can't stop myself.

I like a beef stew to be loaded with vegetables, and potatoes that don't disintegrate and disappear.  I like a lot of unthickened gravy made with a pile of onions. So I like this recipe, enough to share it with you. 

And here's the point of my invocation of Andrew Zimmern - do not be put off by the inclusion of beef heart. It makes up about one-third of the meat in the stew, and helped me keep down the price a bit. Beef heart is $2.49 a pound; there is almost no fat or other waste; it smells exactly like the other stew meat, and it tastes divine.

Just do it. There is no try.

1 - 12 oz. package center-cut, thickly sliced bacon, cut crosswise into squares

3 large onions, chopped

1/2 stick butter

kosher salt, ground black pepper, a pinch of sugar

2 large cloves of garlic, chopped

1 jalapeño, seeds and veins removed, minced

1 tablespoon dried thyme

2 pounds beef for stew

1 pound well-trimmed beef heart, cut same size as stew beef

garlic pepper

1 - 32 oz. box beef stock

2 cups red wine

4 cups water

2 medium stalks celery, with some leaves, left whole

1 large carrot, cut in half crosswise, then halved lengthwise

2 bay leaves

1 - 6 oz. can tomato paste

2 Knorr chicken bouillon cubes

1 1/2 pounds yellow baby potatoes

1 butternut squash, peeled, seeded, and cut into large cubes

1 pound zucchini, sliced

1 cup frozen peas and carrots, rinsed under warm water to defrost

1 cup frozen cut okra, rinsed under warm water to defrost

2 cups frozen broccoli and cauliflower combination (e.g. Publix "Alpine Blend"), rinsed under warm water to defrost

Place the stew beef and the beef heart in a large bowl. Season well with the garlic pepper and set aside.

Render the bacon in a large deep pot. Remove the cooked bacon with a slotted spoon and set aside. Add the butter to the bacon fat in the pot, and then add the onion.  Season with the salt, pepper and sugar. When the onion is well-softened, add the garlic, jalapeño, and thyme. Cook on medium high until the onion is just turning brown around the edges.

Add the beef and beef heart, stir and cook a few minutes on all sides. Add the beef stock, wine, water, celery, carrot, bay leaves, tomato paste, and chicken bouillon and bring to a boil.  Lower the heat to simmer, cover the pot and cook for 2 hours.

Taste the sauce and adjust your seasoning, if needed. Discard the celery. Add the potatoes and butternut squash; bring the heat back up to a boil, then lower to simmer, cover and cook for 30 minutes. Add the reserved bacon and zucchini and cover and cook for 15 minutes. Finally, add the defrosted vegetables, cover and cook another 15 minutes.

Now, check the meat and each type of vegetable for doneness, and cook a little bit longer if needed. You can overcook stew, so don't give it too much more time.

If you have the time and the space in your refrigerator, chill the stew overnight.  Next day, before reheating, remove the hardened fat that has risen to the top. Reheat slowly to avoid scorching the bottom. Add a little bit more water if needed. Taste the reheated stew and adjust the seasoning.  Serve in oversized soup bowls.  Take pictures of happy eaters and post on Facebook.

You may ask, "why those particular vegetables?" Ha, why not? Here is where you get to be creative, by subbing your favorite veggies in or yanking your least favorite out.

More on this tomorrow.

Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief - Judge Me Not

Tuesday morning and I have a doctor's appointment. In Orlando. Siri tells me it is going to rain today, but she won't tell me when. That silicon brat. But I can see for myself that the sky is gray and overcast, and a drizzle is in my immediate future, to which I say, feh.

And then there was every social work attorney's nightmare ... you're shopping, or (like me) picking up a coffee in Wawa, and someone comes up to you and says, "you may not remember me, but you took my children away ..." Awkward, you say?  Oh jeez, is it ever - except I must have hit the lottery (which I never play) because while I was reciting mantras to quell the panic, she gave me a big smile and thanked me - all of us - for being tough on her.  She'd gotten her kids back rather quickly, and stated everything was going well because the experience had made her a better parent.

It could have been the one who followed me right into my parking lot after the trial that terminated her parental rights, or the one who stood up in court, pointed at my supervisor sitting next to me,  bellowed "blasphemer!" and became so belligerent we had to be escorted out the back door by a deputy, or even the nutty New Yorker who sort of threatened me, and the deputy escorted me right up to my front door. Instead, I got the normal one who worked her case plan, got her kids back, and stayed on track. Right away, my day was looking up. 

Then I got to my doctor's office and waited ... and waited ... and waited some more, because that's the way she rolls. If someone comes in for a 15 minute meds check, but has had a bad month and needs to discuss it extensively, the doctor will spend the necessary time.  It is what I both like and kind of dislike about her. She has always given me the time I need, and over the past 7 months I've had my share of lengthy appointments.  On the other hand, I never quite know when I'm getting out of here.  This was something of a problem when I was a working girl, but being retired I can afford to be expansive (although not in the psychiatric sense, which defines expansive as "marked by an abnormal euphoric state and by delusions of grandeur." My delusions are never of grandeur.)

A one hour wait, a 10 minute appointment, and I'm off to my favorite Publix, the one I shopped in for 23 years, for butternut squash and eggs and for some other stuff that wasn't on my list but jumped into my cart of its own volition.  Unfortunately, all this normalcy wore me out and I got home and crashed, really bad. You know the feeling, when you are utterly fatigued but a nap only makes you feel worse. Like sick to your stomach worse.

Somehow, hours later, I managed to make the gnocchi from the dough in the refrigerator, And stopped. No beef stew tonight folks. The gnocchi recipe is from the Pasta by Hand cookbook that I was raving about last week; this time I prepared the potato gnocchi with parmagiano-reggiano. I froze the uncooked gnocchi, but I definitely want to cook some tomorrow. You definitely need to add that book to your cookbook collection, if you have a cookbook collection, and if not, you should use this book to start a cookbook collection.

While reading today's Orlando Sentinel, I came across two separate articles about local judges in trouble with the Judicial Qualifications Committee (JQC) and/or the Florida Supreme Court; this is in addition to the charges filed against the one here in my county.  What is it about wanting to become a judge, or actually becoming a judge, that causes lawyers to behave so abominably? It doesn't have to be that way - I know many judges who remain ethical and honest while retaining their humanity. Of course I've had my share of sociopaths - every lawyer has. And that's not right, not right at all. What if we all gave in to our inner five year old and threw a tantrum in front of everybody in court?

Everything happens for a reason, and that likely extends to my illness and forced early retirement, because I realize that I've put up with enough judicial bullshit to last a lifetime, and that it was only a matter of time before I told one of them to gather up their petty ego, take off that ill-fitting black polyester robe, and get the hell down off the Bench before embarrassing it any further.