Gonna Take You To Electric Avenue

A new manifestation of the fibromyalgia has been plaguing me these last 4 weeks, and I am more than a little upset. Electric shocks in my arms, hands, toes, but especially my fingers have made it difficult to type, scroll down an iPad or iPhone, hold a book, or even knit. Besides the constant discomfort, the hands and fingers jerk and twitch, causing me to make numerous mistakes. I also find my hands and arms are totally lacking in strength. It is unreasonably tiring to chop an onion, or hold objects in my hand without risking having them slip out and drop to the nearest surface.

I have trouble keeping my head upright; this has been getting worse over a long period of time. Also I recently read that eye pain, floaters and flashing lights are associated with fibromyalgia and of course I have those as well. They can occur due to other conditions, but apparently the fibromyalgia can make them worse. I have an appointment with an eye specialist on Wednesday to address the cataracts that were seen by the optometrist last month; maybe he can check on the floaters and flashes as well.

I am feeling emotionally battered by the constant physical deterioration, and that's no lie.

I figure it is taking me twice as long to type, since I always have to back track to add missing letters and to make other corrections. Add in a factor for time spent searching for a forgotten word or name and I am hopelessly slowed down. When I was still working, I would type one or two sentences of a petition or final judgment, stop to correct them, then put my head down on the desk because I was totally lacking energy and mental clarity. If I think back to my working days (no easy task as much of that is a mental blur) I remember my arms feeling too heavy to stay in position on the keyboard, and everything slumping down off the keyboard and onto my lap.

It may seem silly, and even petty, to bitch about my difficulties with crafts and hobbies, but those  activities are critical to my well-being, physically and mentally. Pre-fibromyalgia I had very good fine-motor coordination; now knitting and bead jewelry are literally slipping out of my grasp.

For those reasons, I was gratified to actually finish two of the six bracelets I had planned for, and it only took me 3 weeks. That's called sarcasm. But I am rather pleased with how they look and I hope the recipients like them as well.

Despite feeling rather grim, last week was a really fine one for me.  Getting to watch Emeril cook and kibbitz on the stage in front of me was a thrill. I learned so much from him over the years, about cooking and food in general. His show was so good, and watching him do his shtick in person reminded all of us that the present evening line-up on Food Network just ain't what it used to be. Not even close.

I am also the proud owner of one autographed cookbook. The book signing was an uber-speedy, well-choreographed blur, but there was still time to exchange pleasantries as I watched him write my name and his name on the same page. Yeah, I'm a fangirl.

Bam!