Saturday, July 16, 2011


Recently I drifted back into playing FarmVille, after a hiatus of almost two years. I probably would not have done so, but for the availability of an app for the iPad. My farm, which apparently remained in cyber-limbo, looked so charming and colorful that I could not resist planting a few crops and petting the kitties - all 47 of them.  I also could not help but notice that my avatar needed some serious updating.

Gone is the Big Red Hair and the purple overalls ...

Meet the new, older but wiser weekend farmer.  No more Sarah Palin upsweep,  no more chemical assault to achieve a haircolor I wasn't even born with.  She really does look like me, except none of the available avatars had a bustline to speak of. 

Now if you will excuse me, I have to go harvest some eggplants.  Or at the very least, head on down to my local supermarket.  I've got pastitsio on the brain, and for some reason I visualize a layer of eggplant added to the already sturdy structure. 

This brings up the unfortunate image of Jeff Goldblum in "The Fly", except in my movie version, someone places a dish of pastitsio and a dish of moussaka into the transport chamber, and the result is a huge casserole of "Mousstitsio",  a glorious concoction representing everything good about Greek cuisine.  The celebrity chefs from every network all come together to praise the Mousstitsio.  World Peace is achieved as everyone, everywhere, chows down.  I am awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, an audience with the Pope, lunch with the President and Mrs. Obama, where I recreate my masterpiece using handpicked eggplants from the White House garden, and the challenge of a throwdown with Bobby Flay.  Everyone is ecstatic, except possibly Jeff Goldblum's hapless character, who is still storing extra parts in his medicine cabinet.  Ick.

For those of you who were concerned, or outraged, or even amused by my "Hazard Pay" post, please be assured that all is well.  I spoke with the detective at Kissimmee Police Department, and reported the incident.  We don't know if the state attorney will choose to prosecute, but that is entirely at his or her discretion.  I was really more interested in making a proper record of the incident, "just in case."  I also finished gathering information and documentation regarding the identity theft, and provided that to my other detective at KPD, who kindly offered to transfer it over to Polk County, where the majority of the theft took place, and where there is some hope of identifying the person responsible.  And I have been assured that my new office will be on the fourth or fifth floor at the new location, and any windows I might have will be inaccessible except by a high-power rifle-wielding sniper.  Since the only other building in Kissimmee high enough to shoot from would be the courthouse, and to enter it one must pass by a metal detector and four suspicious deputies, I think it will all be okay.

This is my on-call duty weekend, and by 10:00 this morning I had already been to the juvenile courthouse, finished my hearing, and returned home.  Getting up at 6:30 on a Saturday is hard on this old body, so I think I'll take a nap.  A nap before frying.

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