Tuesday, July 19, 2011


Yiddish is one of the most expressive languages in the world.  I could discuss the relative merits of Ladino, Yevanic, Zarphatic, and Bukhori, but here in the United States, when one thinks of Jews, one thinks of Yiddish.  I grew up in a home where the adults switched over to Yiddish when they wished to speak about something, "but not in front of the kids."  So of course I silently listened and learned and tried to pick up as many Yiddish words and phrases as I could.  Like most Jewish adults of my generation, I can cuss in Yiddish.  Yiddish is the language of Jewish comedians from the vaudeville era until modern times (watch a Mel Brooks movie if you don't believe me) which makes it the perfect language for insults and complaints.  A single word, spoken in Yiddish, can convey an entire sentence, which is a good thing since I am unable to speak in sentences when I am cussing complaining in Yiddish.  If you've ever called someone a yutz, or complained about shlepping your files to the courthouse, you are speaking Yiddish.  Cool, huh?  When I write the word "feh!", as I have at different times on this blog, I am speaking the language of my ancestors.

ORLANDO, Fla.  — With the exception of a few moments when she walked out of jail early Sunday, Casey Anthony has not appeared in public as a free woman. Her whereabouts is a mystery.

Defense lawyer Jose Baez wanted to use Anthony's parents, George and Cindy Anthony
, as a decoy during her release, their lawyer, Mark Lippman, told a television station.

Now THAT'S chutzpah.  And there are a lot of things I could say about Jose Baez, but let me sum it up in one perfect Yiddish word:  schmuck.

I almost wish I was a personal injury or civil suit lawyer, because now is the time I could cash in on this whole Casey Anthony mishegas.  Everybody is suing everybody else, and they are all suing Casey. 

Yesterday I unexpectedly discovered that fresh blue crabs are a gift from God.  Our legal intern, Dustin, is a whiz at catching shrimp and other denizens of the deep, but this was the first time I learned he was an accomplished crabber.  When I got into the office and stopped to chat, Dustin advised me he had caught the crabs and brought them in for whoever would like them.

I am all about Alaskan king crab and snow crab, but blue crab - not so much.  The only type that has been available in the markets is a refrigerated, pasteurized product that is merely okay.  Because crab spoils so very rapidly, this is the very best way to sell it.  It is not, however, the very best way to eat it.  Fried soft shelled crabs is a great way to eat them, but I digress.  Besides, this wasn't soft shell season.

Dustin had frozen the whole, uncooked crabs, bagged them and placed them in the freezer at the office.  Come the end of the day, I snag one of the bags and head out to Publix to get the rest of the ingredients for a small, intimate crab boil.  A dozen littleneck clams, half a pound of fresh mussels, andouille sausage, corn on the cob, and red potatoes.  I constructed a Monolith de Mer with the help of Old Bay seasoning and garlic and all I can tell you is it was AWESOME.  The blue crab is actually pretty easy to open with your hands (it somes with a pull tab to start the process) and the meat is deliciously sweet.  One of the best things I've ever eaten.  Thank you, Dustin.

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