Sound and fury, signifying nothing

Macbeth:
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Macbeth Act 5, scene 5, 19–28

Wednesday, Day 16 - Ahhh, my peeps miss me - I have emails to respond to.  I miss them so very much, but I can't go back.  Not yet.  I find the thought overwhelming.  I want to go back, but I am very concerned about losing whatever improvement I've managed to garner.  Reportedly, the judicial transition is still not going well, and that is a very big issue, for me and for my peeps.  As hard as we all work, for all that we sacrifice, we deserve better.  This is not the only contributing factor to my extreme stress and resulting meltdown (think of Dorothy throwing that bucket of water) but it is a big one.  Before I even think of taking this on again, I need to deal with my multitude of unresolved medical issues.  I need to find out what my leave status really is, and if it is realistic, given the sneaky nature of the CPS.  I need to look within myself and decide if I can face down the major source of the stress and come out of it with my license to practice law still intact.                  

So when we last met, I was considering how to best utilize a 4 pound package of beautiful stew meat.   First I researched Belgian stews, feeling close to my Dutch roots. The timing was good, as Cory had just arrived home with a 12-pack of Stella Artois.  I am enamored with a recipe for Hachee, Dutch Beef and Onion Stew, but I have a wandering eye which led me to a recipe called Sofrito, a Sephardic Meat Stew.  The flavor profile created by the many spices in the Sofrito is unique and won my vote, if not my heart.  So maybe tomorrow.  Today I did food shopping and it was fine. Spent a good amount of time in Whole Foods, really just to pick up my smoked whitefish salad, but I can never resist a peek at everything else. That's where I found these impossibly cute baby rainbow carrots, which will find their way into a saucepan or a crockpot. Definitely tomorrow.

Schrödinger's Cat Doesn't Live Here Any More Or Maybe He Does

Tuesday, Day 15 - So after several week's wait, today is the day I have a pipe shoved down my throat.  I am, through my insurance carrier, paying for this privilege.  Now at the Outpatient Surgery Center, I am waiting again - or still.  I can't wait until I have to wait for the colonoscopy.

This is the easier procedure; I was able to eat and drink up until midnight, and did not have to engage in any cleansing rituals.  Still, I wish I could have had a cup of coffee.  One single, caffeine-laden cup of coffee.  I really missed my cup of coffee this morning.  No caffeine = crankiness.  Food is not an issue.  Coffee is always an issue.  Must. Have. Coffee.

Well, I waited but I was warned, and the wait fell well within the warning.  The staff was excellent, the procedure without incident.  No reaction to the anesthesia, which is kept very light.  I also received a written report of the results, which I deeply appreciated.  Very professional, and the colonoscopy is already set for March 31.  There's a 2-day cleansing ritual for that one; I can't wait.  Looking forward to it like root canal.

First thing I did when I got home was make myself a cup of coffee.  Then I read the endoscopy report and did some research to help me understand the findings.  There were three biopsies taken - one appeared to be S.O.P. (standard operating procedure); the second one seemed to be A.O.C. (abundance of caution - yes, I just made that up); and the third one was indicative of a genuine concern for something potentially serious.  So now it is my gastroesophageal junction as well as my right ta-ta enjoying the same existence as Schrödinger's cat.  I will know more - and understand it all better - after the colonoscopy.  That's when I will meet with the doctor.  

My PCP sent me a message letting me know that the CT brain scan came back fine.  Good to know.

                                   

So I've got the colonoscopy on March 31 and the mammogram and breast ultrasound on April 2.  Multiple follow up appointments in my immediate future.  No real answers as to how to manage the CPS. No idea as to when or if I can return to work.  I've got to get all of these medical issues resolved first, at least to the point of knowing if I will require any kind of treatment.  I am feeling lucky, but not wanting to give myself a kinehora (Yiddish for "evil eye"), that's all I'm going to say right now.

I'm tired of dwelling on health issues so I'm going to dwell on food instead.  What shall I do with 4 pounds of lovely stew meat, eh?  I found a recipe with an interesting collection of spices.  But that's another blog post.

Waking Up Is Hard To Do - Shiny Spaghetti Sauce and Soapboxes

Monday, Day 14 - I did not vote for Barack Obama.  Not because I am a Republican - I'm not.  Not because I'm a racist -  seriously, dudes, look at my family portrait.  Not because he has conducted his rather short and unspectacular political life with more lies and subterfuges than Bill Clinton - what kind of president fights to have their college records sealed?  Who plays fast and loose with their birth certificate?   Not because I'm suspicious of any politician out of Illinois, although that might be closer to the truth.  Not because I was a gung-ho supporter of John McCain and Sarah Palin - it actually hurt to cast a vote for that ticket, and if memory serves me correctly, I walked out of the voting both without doing so. I liked Romney and Ryan quite a bit, so that preference is definitely close to the truth. I felt, and continue to feel that Barack Obama was horribly inexperienced in both domestic and foreign affairs.  A law school professor?  I've known quite a few of those in my day, and the only one who might have qualified to run for President was former Dean Howard Glickstein.  I also felt that after eight years of George W. Bush, we the people deserved much better, not a second term of Jimmy Carter. I felt that Mr. Obama was no friend of Israel, and it turns out I was right.

In conclusion, I feel that Barack Obama is a childish, petulant, ill-tempered man with a pen in one hand, a cell phone in the other, the proverbial stick up his nether-region, and is dangerously unsuited to be the leader of the free world.

I read the news this morning, and it pissed me off, and so did the President.  And that's all I'm going to say about that, except - if you are a regular reader, and also a strong supporter of this President, anything I say is not going to change your opinion.  All I ask is that you respect my right to express my own.

Before I read the news, however, I woke up and remembered that I go for the endoscopy procedure tomorrow morning.  This left me feeling sad and scared at the same time.  Definitely made it hard for me to crawl out of bed.  Walking up is hard to do.  Oh, and did I mention it was raining?  On a Monday? As my grandmother-who-raised-me would pronounce, this is a Mizzo Day.  As the Carpenters would sing, Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.  Pick your own ear worm today, my friends.

Speaking of my grandmother - well first, let me explain that after careful kitchen courtroom direct examination on my part, I discerned that the meatloaf, having been reheated for Robert's lunch, was a trifle dry.  Fair enough, and I am ALWAYS on the lookout for dry meatloaf.  It is a relatively easy matter to cure, and given the prominent role that Campbell's tomato soup presented in the original recipe, I thought I would turn to my grandmother's recipe for - ahem - shiny spaghetti sauce.  Except it wasn't shiny and that's not what she really called it.  What she called it was ethnically self-deprecating, in a humorous, Mel Brooksian sort of way, but even Mel couldn't get away with it these days, nor should he even try.  I am not one who believes anyone should use any word that is derogatory to any ethnic or racial or religious group, even if you happen to belong to that particular group.

Will someone PLEASE get me off this soapbox?  First President Obama, and then President Skroob.  Enough already.

I like this sauce, but I like anything that involves fried onions.  I also like Campbell's tomato soup, and have been known to actually eat the stuff, besides cooking with it.  Since I dislike eating most canned soups, that's fairly extraordinary.  This sauce is ridiculously easy to prepare; try it over spaghetti or with this meatloaf (or any meatloaf) or on mashed potatoes.

3-4 tablespoons canola oil
1 large onion, chopped
1 can Campbell's tomato sauce
water
kosher salt
ground black pepper
granulated garlic
a pinch of sugar

Cook the onions in the canola oil until tender.  Add  the salt, pepper, the sugar, and very small amount of the granulated garlic. Continue to cook the onions until they start to turn brown around the edges.     Stir in the soup, and thin with about half a soup can of water.  Let simmer about 10 to 15 minutes; taste and re-season if necessary.  The flavor is all about the sweet caramelized onions.  Let simmer a few more minutes.  Spoon over the meatloaf, or serve on the side.

I Love The Flower Girl - Crockpot Meatloaf Cordon Bleu

Kissimmee street sculpture from yesterday's walk

Sunday - Another quiet day, spent with my favorite husband.  I have convinced myself that the lump on the side of my right ta-ta is nothing but a fluid cyst. I've had them before.  No big deal. Stay tuned.

Flashback to an ear worm from December 6, 2014 - "flowers in her hair; flowers everywhere"

My gorgeous hibiscus, just planted and already blooming!

All seafood buffet - yes.  All dessert buffet - hell no. (Watching the Travel Channel.)

My sweet Magic are playing the Denver Nuggets, whose record is as bad as ours.  (Our record was a lot worse, but then we got rid of Jacques Vaughn). Should be a great game, especially as Jameer Nelson, one of my all-time favorite players, is playing for the Nuggets tonight.  We saw him a few months ago at Amway when he was playing for the Celtics.  Before that, he was playing for Dallas.  Three teams in one season - after 10 years with the Magic, and he would still be here if some loser in the Main Office hadn't traded him.  And that's tonight's rant.

A better shot of that misplaced plaque 

I have no idea why, but the thought of making meatloaf invariably sends me running to my pantry and grabbing cans and packets and collection of crumbs.  I've also got this thing about stuffing meatloaf - with hardboiled eggs, mashed potatoes, hot dogs, kielbasa, cold cuts, and/or cheese. My grandmother-who-raised-me made the best meatloaf and did none of these things.  She also cooked her meatloaf on top of the stove, so as to not heat up the kitchen by turning on the oven.  All of these factors swirled around in my head (which has been working a little bit better the past few days) and this is what I came up with.

Crockpot Meatloaf Cordon Bleu

1 pound ground beef
1 pound ground pork
1/2 can Campbell's tomato soup
2 extra large eggs
1 packet Lipton Recipe Secrets Vegetable Soup and Dip Mix
1 tablespoon dried thyme
kosher salt
ground black pepper
1 - 5 oz. bag Chatham Village Garden Herb Croutons, crushed

6 slices Virginia ham
6 slices Swiss cheese
1/2 soup can red wine

Combine the first nine ingredients in a large mixing bowl.  Mix well.  Pat, then roll out the meatloaf between two pieces of wax paper, using your judgment as to size based on the size of your crockpot.  Mine came out to be around 12 by 16 inches,, with 12 inches being the intended length of the rolled meatloaf. The final result should be about 1/4 inch thick.  Lay the sliced ham first, and then the Swiss cheese.  Using the wax paper to assist, roll the meat over and around the ham and cheese.

You should still have a can of tomato soup with half the soup removed.  Pour in just enough wine to fill the can back up and stir together with the soup.  Set aside for just a moment.

Line the crock with aluminum foil with ample overlap, so that you can lift out the finished meatloaf.  Pour about 1/3 of the soup wine mixture and use the back of a wooden spoon to spread it across the bottom.  Carefully move the meatloaf roll into the prepared crock, seam side down.  Pour the remaining soup wine mixture over the entire meatloaf.  Cook on low for 6 to 7 hours or until internal temperature registers 155 to 160 degrees.  I needed the full 7 hours.  Baste the meatloaf several times during cooking.  When the meatloaf is cool enough to handle, use the aluminum foil to lift it out of the crockpot, and move it into a serving dish, topped with any remaining sauce.

I find that meatloaf is particularly difficult to photograph ...

... but that flowers are not.

Beautiful 100+ year old oaks next to the Old Courthouse:

Including the infamous "Hanging Tree":

During the terrible hurricane season of 2004, downtown Kissimmee was left looking positively post-apocalyptic - trees broken in half, lying in the street and on top of houses.  The Hanging Tree was practically untouched, just a single branch cracked and was easily removed.

Places to go, people to see - Next Year in ...

Saturday - What the frog is wrong with this blog today??? I have had to delete my last two attempts to start the paragraph with the letter "I".  The damn thing keeps freezing - in Florida, no less!  Sheesh - all this just to tell you I am roasting a whole tomato. Not any tomato, mind you, but a yellow heirloom that has been sitting around at room temperature for at least a week, waiting for its proper disposition.

While the tomato is giving its all for culinary science, my mind wanders to Passover, the quintessential Jewish Eating Holiday.  This year, the first night of Passover falls out on April 3, 2015.  All Jewish holidays start at sundown, as does Shabbat (our Sabbath).  Why? The answer is in Genesis  1:5 (And there was evening, and there was morning, one day). There is no Passover service that takes place in temple; this is a home service, and it is all about eating.  Food is always symbolic, but never more so that for Passover.  It has been a long time since I planned a proper seder and under the circumstances I'm not even up to an improper one. One box of matzo should do us for the entire holiday, yup.

By the way, the roasted tomato was a bust.  Feh.

At the conclusion of the seder, we say "next year in Jerusalem."  At the conclusion of  this year's "seder", which will probably be meatloaf eaten at the kitchen counter, I'm going to say "next year in Anchorage!"  My cousin Maura and I are planning this for 2016, and God willing we are going to make it.

Today it was Indiana's turn to accompany me on my walk.  It was a rough day, as the humidity was much higher than I anticipated.  He wanted to walk on the leash rather than ride in the stroller, but he's not a great walker, pulling me this way and that to look at things.  I got some good photos, though.  No cooking today.  Rob and I had cheese and crackers for dinner, and I gave Chelsea a much-needed bath.  She loves her bath, but hates the blow dryer.  I'm not sure she's speaking to me.  A quiet day.

Some different views of the Old Courthouse

The angles caught my eye, and my camera caught the angles

The site of the last execution in Osceola County

An odd place for this plaque

I never tire of looking at this building

Indiana Jones, setting hat fashion yet again