Don't You Hate When That Happens? - Roasted Garlic Cream Sauce

Good morning to you. I have another bone to pick: here are the "corporate" words and phrases I have come to detest: "team", "partners", "stakeholder", "law firm" (as applied to Children's Legal Services), and "staffing". I'm in a mood this morning; not totally bad, more like crabby-snarky. My back feels like it is broken in half, but other than that, the sky is blue and the clouds are gray.  I have things to do, decisions to make, contracts to sign.

I have not yet heard anything from the state Division of Retirement regarding my application for retirement disability, although I faxed the remaining documents over a week ago.  Looks like I am going to have to work the fax machine again.  Also, and perhaps more importantly, I can now start the process of applying to the Federal government for benefits.  Not entitlements, damn it, benefits.  I paid into the Social Security system for 45 years.

I have chosen an agency to assist me in this process, so now is the time for me to start filling out - gasp! - more paperwork.  Story of my life.  I've gathered everything in my "office" - yes, I'm sitting on my bed, surrounded by stacks of papers and several sleeping Yorkies - and will try to wade through the collection of names, dates, and medical conditions.  It's going to take a while just to figure out the medications, since I haven't really stabilized on anything either of my doctors have prescribed, although they keep trying to fine-tune them, and I have been (mostly) diligent about following their instructions.

I have also made a difficult decision regarding my supervisor's offer to have a luncheon to show appreciation for my work at the Department.  It was a lovely email, and just reading it made me feel better about myself.  But after long and hard thought (I realize this may seem minor in the grand scheme of things, but in my little world it has import) I have decided against it.  Rob and I will go up on Saturday to pack up and clear out my office, which will be hard enough.  My first instinct was to say "yes, thank you" but the words got stuck in my throat - or fingers, to be more accurate - and I realize I cannot do it.  I am not good about saying good-bye under the best of circumstances, and this is anything but. My therapist said it would be good for "closure" - how did I know he was going to say that? - and I told him I hate the word "closure" as much as "team" and "stakeholders".

I don't believe in the whole concept of closure.  I don't believe it really exists.  There are certain kinds of hurts that never heal.  All you can do is hope that the day arrives when you are no longer overcome with grief or regret or anger, when the emotions stop interfering with your ability to function.  A long time ago I read an article which explained that the 3Ds - Death, Divorce, and Dismissal - were the most Difficult events for a human to bear, and most likely to cause situational Depression.  If I can still visualize the details of my dismissal from A&A in freaking 1981, well, you get the idea.  Now I can tell you it was classy, but that day I was a mess.  It still hurts.

So having rejected the efficacy of closure, and not wanting to rip that fragile scab from my emotional well-being, I am going to respectfully and regretfully decline, and say good-bye in my own way, that won't involve streaming eyes, a runny nose, a migraine, or the overwhelming need to throw up.

And now, from the "Don't You Hate When That Happens?" Department:  while I was working on the quinoa and asparagus dish the other day, I had a brainstorm for a roasted garlic bread that would be a perfect accompaniment for the chicken with shallots.  It turned out to be a brainfart, at least as far as the whole garlic bread idea was concerned, but I did come up with a lovely roasted garlic cheese sauce which would be extraordinary poured over steamed broccoli, cauliflower, or even a grilled chicken breast.

2 heads garlic, roasted

2 tablespoons butter

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1 cup whole milk

Italian seasoning

parsley flakes

ground white pepper

dash granulated garlic (optional)

dash Raging River Five Pepper Blend (optional)

1/2 cup cotija cheese

Melt the butter, over medium-high heat, in a small saucepan; add the roasted garlic (it will be the consistency of soft butter) to the pan and whisk together.  Add the flour and whisk about 2 minutes.  Pour in the cold milk while continuing to whisk.

Okay, this is where all those years of watching Emeril Live comes in handy. The roux is hot, the milk should be cold.  Although it is counterintuitive, this and your mad whisking skills prevent lumps.  Also, the béchamel will only reach full thickening when it is brought up to heat,  Keep whisking while the white sauce comes to a gentle boil. Stir in your seasonings.

Take the saucepan off the heat and with a wooden spoon, stir in the cheese until melted.  Serve immediately.

There are a couple of different ways to roast garlic, but this is what I usually do - preheat the oven to 400 or 425 degrees; cut the top off the head of garlic so that the cloves are exposed; pour on some olive oil (don't drown the garlic, you want just enough oil to seep down into each clove); wrap in aluminum foil and place in the oven for at least 45 minutes.  Check on the garlic after that, and don't be afraid to put it back into the oven for another 10 minutes or more until it is the color you want.  I like a deeply caramelized garlic that can be spread on bread like butter.  If you like a lighter, firmer, sharper-tasting garlic, 45 or 50 minutes will probably be enough.  I think I let these roast an hour, maybe a little more.

You can use any cheese you happen to have handy.  I don't usually have cotija, a Mexican cheese which goes great on grilled corn, on hand, but since I had some hanging out in my fridge, I tried it.  Nice, but not worth buying it special for this sauce.  Cotija does not melt as well as parmesan, which it resembles in taste, and if you want a good Mexican melted cheese, try queso blanco.

I did manage to rescue the bread, but it wasn't worth the effort, so we won't speak of it again.    Sometimes my inspirations fall flatter than Hillary Clinton's jokes about her new snapchat account.

Let's just say, in the interest of avoiding waste of food, that this bread and black coffee make a fine breakfast.

Pickings From My Garden - Number One Eggplant Bites

It's official:

Bet you were expecting Donald Trump, right?

Well, I got my letter of dismissal today, and while it was not unexpected (I had told them I could not perform my normal job duties any more due to the fibromyalgia), it was still a sad moment.  The letter was the coldest piece of work I've seen in a while; I don't know if it is a Department-sanctioned form letter, or something whipped up by the individual whose name appeared on the signature line, but either way, somebody's got to work on their people skills!  No "we regret to advise you" or even a "good luck in your future endeavors."  Believe it or not, those phrases do soften the blow.

I do know something about being dismissed, you know.  Back in 1981, I was laid-off from my position as an assistant something-or-other with the late, lamented Alexander & Alexander, at that time the second largest insurance broker in the world.  Now that was a classy termination.  The Marine Department Manager and Assistant Manager invited me into the conference room.  We sat down like civilized people.  They had an envelope for me which contained everything I needed to take care of, including forms to apply for unemployment.  The manager actually was upset by what he had to do, and excused himself.  It was explained that I was not being fired for cause, but laid-off because I was a "non income-producing member of the department."  Of course I was upset; but I never got to collect those unemployment benefits because they helped me get another job, with the American Hull Insurance Syndicate, an extremely respectable place to work.  Best of all, 6 years later they re-hired me for their Melville office, where I had a wonderful few years before I graduated from law school.

Classy, I told you.  Okay, I never thought I'd look back fondly at my termination from A&A, but time clearly does heal some wounds.  This time is very different in many ways.

This is a follow-up to my Save the Garden Pickings Campaign, which I started yesterday among the okra pods.  No frozen supplementation needed for this one.  I almost ate the whole damn thing for lunch yesterday, it was that good.  Ichiban eggplants are smaller, sweeter, and more tender than their larger cousins (think Penny Hardaway and Shaquille O'Neal, playing on the same team but with different talents).  I used my Cuisinart griddler (similar to a George Foreman grill) for the eggplant. Incidentally, "ichiban" translates to "number one", Japanese to English.

3 Ichiban eggplant, sliced on the diagonal

garlic flavored olive oil

a splash of lemon juice

seasoning (I used Emeril's Essence)

3/4 cup whole milk ricotta

1/4 cup shredded Pecorino Romano

2 tablespoons chopped, drained pimentos, patted dry

2 teaspoons parsley flakes

1 teaspoon garlic pepper
thin slices of provolone, mozzarella, or mixed shredded cheese - small amounts

Toss the eggplant with the olive oil and lemon juice; season lightly on both sides.  Grill for a few minutes until you have nice grill marks.  Place the grilled eggplant slices in a shallow baking pan and let cool.

In a small bowl, combine the ricotta and Romano cheeses, the parsley flakes and the garlic pepper.  Gently fold in the chopped pimentos.  Divide the cheese filling and spread evenly on each piece of eggplant.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.  Top the ricotta mixture with a small amount of provolone or other cheese. Place in the preheated oven for 15 minutes. Remove the baking pan from the oven and allow to cool a few minutes before serving.  It's not really finger food, as the eggplant remains fairly soft, but it is well worth the knife-and-fork business.

The Donald, The Guy, and The Frozen Chosen - Mock Choux Succotash

Prince of (Pillow) Thieves

I have to say it: Donald Trump is saying what a majority of Americans want to hear.  So before you hate a politician, look at your neighbors, your friends, your relatives, your coworkers, and all the people you interact with during the day, and wonder how many of them agree with his ideas on immigration.  Beside building a wall between here and Mexico, he also wants to keep illegal immigrant families together by deporting the children with their parents.

I'm not sure what I think about that.  The present law is clear: citizenship derives from "blood" and from "land" - if you were born to American citizens or you were born within the United States (regardless of the status of your parents), you are an American citizen.  So The Donald is saying the law has to be changed to eliminate the derivation from "land".  I have to admit there is something downright appealing about that notion.  Yes, I am all about protecting children, but if you follow that line of logic, we will be throwing open our borders for children from every Third World, impoverished, dictatorial country out there.  I am truly sorry, but we can't go there, as the saying goes.  One thing I learned, the hard way, is that you cannot save everybody. (You want to save children?  Contact your local social service agency and offer to foster or adopt a child, an American child.  Or call CASA or the Guardian ad Litem Program in your area, and become a volunteer to protect the best interests of American children.  Contact your state legislators and tell them to stop cutting funding for child-related social service programs.)

I was watching Triple G, not to be confused the Triple D, on Food Network last night.  I am tempted to re-christen it the Guy Fieri Network, and even though my scalp hurts every time I see him on the screen, I like him and I like both of his evening shows.  Last night it was Guy's Grocery Games, and one of the curve balls thrown at the contestants was a restriction to pick their foods from the frozen aisle. People moaned and groaned like they were being asked to go through the garbage bins at the local Chinese retaurant in order to create a fabulous dish.  Hey, I like frozen foods!  I revere Clarence Birdseye!  Properly treated, frozen foods can work up into awesome dishes.  I'm not dissing fresh here - those were fresh asparagus spears and fresh green onions that went into the quinoa dish last night - but we all know there are times the produce section presents some pretty poor pickings, and the only way to satisfy a craving for green beans or brussel sprouts is to buy them frozen.

I have a garden which occasionally offers up an edible selection of okra, eggplant, cherry tomatoes, and herbs.  As this is my first year gardening, I have made some mistakes and the pickings are still sort of slim.  Like me.  When you get an okra pod every other day, you've got to be creative in using the small amounts in a timely fashion so that the early picks don't go bad before you have just enough to make a recipe.  Same thing with the Ichiban eggplants, but that's what I'm eating for lunch today and that's another blog post.  There was a single perfect cherry tomato and I ate it.  It was the best cherry tomato I have ever eaten.

I am home today, I have neither the ambition nor the strength to venture past my property line.  That translates to frozen food: assuming I want to put those 5 okra pods to good use, and I do, I am going to have to rely on certain frozen vegetables to fill out the ingredient list for what I am irreverently naming "mock choux succotash". Walk this way, I may pull it off yet.

Having said that, my back is killing me, so I need to give the ibuprofen time to work its chemical magic before assembling ingredients.  This recipe is a mash-up from several different sources on the internet, plus two different recipes I've been making for years.

4 oz. tasso ham, diced (yes, I had this in my freezer)
small amount of olive oil
1 cup chopped onions
2 tablespoons butter + more as needed
Emeril's Cajun seasoning
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 cup sliced okra
1 1/2 cups frozen bell pepper blend
1 1/2 cups frozen corn
1 1/2 cups frozen butter or lima beans
1-15 oz. can diced tomatoes with juice
kosher salt and coarse ground black pepper
Crystal hot sauce, to taste
1/2 cup dairy sour cream (adjust the amount to your taste or leave it out)

Heat the olive oil in a large skillet.  Add the tasso and cook over medium for about 5 minutes until the tasso takes on deep color and renders out most of the fat.  Add the butter, and once it melts, add the onion, and season with the Cajun seasoning blend. Cook together over medium heat until onion softens, and then add the garlic. Cook for a minute and then add the okra.  Add more butter if needed.  Cook for another minute, then add the corn, lima beans, bell pepper blend, and tomatoes.  Raise the heat and bring to a boil; season with salt, pepper, and some more Cajun seasoning.  Add a few good shots of the hot sauce.  Lower the heat and simmer, uncovered, until the excess liquid has mostly evaporated and all of the vegetables are tender (watch those butter beans, they like to stay toothsome). Take the skillet off the heat and stir in the sour cream.

Yes, pink.  Pink maque choux-succotash.  I said it was "mock" didn't I?  I would recommend trying this with a 10 oz. can of Ro-Tel tomatoes, just because it is a smaller can and has nifty green chilies.  You can find them in different degrees of heat.  You can adjust the ratio of corn to beans, like 2 cups corn to 1 cup beans, as long as it adds up to 3 cups, and if it doesn't, that's okay too.  If you don't like sour cream, leave it out for a more authentic maque choux.  Or stir in a little heavy cream.  

As it is now, I would like it served with white rice.  You could also kick up the protein content by adding cubed, cooked chicken or even shrimp.  If you don't keep a chunk of tasso in your freezer, switch it out for bacon or a zippy sausage.


Eat happy, my friends.

When Asparagus Met Quinoa

I've got asparagus, I've got quinoa, they want to get married and for me to throw the reception party. I've been trying to work this out in my head for a day or so, but no inspiration in this nation. Boring greens and grains.  Yes, the cat is driving me crazy.

Remember how I rhapsodized about the quiet - was it just yesterday?  Ha ha, well today, my neighbor is working outside to a loud Latin beat while there's a two-alarm something heading south on Clyde and a three-motorcycle contingent vrooming north on Clyde.  The juxtaposition of the two fire trucks screaming towards wherever the three motorcycles were vrooming from concerns me just a bit.  Well, if in fact the two noisy events were connected, I'm sure I'll catch it in tomorrow's local news.

This weekend, my soul is at peace.  Not sure if there is something about the medication, or having sent in my paperwork to Tallahassee, or a break in the worst of the pain.  Whatever it is, I am going to enjoy it while it lasts.

I finally worked out how to marry the asparagus with the quinoa.  Turns out the shidduch (matchmaker) for these two unlikely lovers was none other than bacon.  Everything is better with bacon.

Speaking of noise, everything I just wrote about is being drowned out by some pretty vicious thunder boomers.  The skies have darkened ominously, and the puppies are hiding.  Monsoon season has supplanted barbecue season in this part of Florida; no way I could have fired up the grill with this heading in.  No low and slow when you've got torrential rain storms on the horizon.

Quinoa with Asparagus and Bacon

6 slices bacon, chopped
4 green onions, white and light green parts sliced, dark green part set aside
2 cloves garlic, minced
3/4 to 1 pound thin asparagus, cut into 3/4 inch pieces, tips set aside
2/3 cup white quinoa
1-10 1/2 oz. can Campbell's chicken broth
1/2 cup frozen peas and carrots (La Fe brand with the little square-cut carrots)
1-2 tablespoons drained chopped pimentos
Emeril's Cajun seasoning
dried thyme
kosher salt
ground black pepper

Half-render the bacon in a heavy skillet on low-medium heat.  Add the onions, and cook until they start to soften.  Add the garlic and season the skillet contents with Cajun seasoning and thyme.  Keep cooking until the bacon is light brown, and not too crispy.  Add the cut up asparagus (excluding the tips); stir and cook for 1 minute.  Add the quinoa; raise the temperature to medium-high, and stir and cook for 1 minute.  Add the broth and bring to a boil.  Add the asparagus tips and the peas and carrots, lower the temperature to low, cover and simmer for 15 to 20 minutes.

About those peas and carrots - I detest those big hunks of ruffle-cut frozen carrots that predominate all frozen vegetable mixtures.  I really love the frozen carrots that are cut into neat little squares about the same size as the peas.  If you can't find that peas and carrot blend in your local market, just use the peas.

Remove the cover from the skillet, and check the tenderness of the quinoa.  If there is liquid in the pan that hasn't been absorbed, carefully rest a piece of paper towel across the top of the skillet, and cover it.  Cook over low for another five or so minutes until the excess liquid is gone.

Pick out the nicest of the reserved green onion tops and slice them.  Remove the skillet from the heat, remove the cover (and paper towel if you used it) and stir the green onion and pimento into the quinoa.  Adjust your seasoning; taste first, because you may not need any additional salt.  Serve with a smile.

Speaking of smiles - no matter how hard I try, I can't make quinoa look pretty.  I've tried, but it insists on looking just meh.  This is one time that eating first with your eyes is a bad idea.  It tastes much better than it looks, trust me.
        

The Spice Must Flow - Sweet & Spicy Pumpkin Carrot Raisin Bread

So quiet.  Another Saturday adjacent to Courthouse Square, and the streets are blessedly silent, free from the maddening crowds of an average workday.  Well, perhaps with the notable exception of Clyde Avenue, masked as a local street, ha ha.

Clyde is actually a main thoroughfare linking the nearest fire station with the VFW Hall, double hairpin railroad crossings, lake access, and motorcycle club (there's got to be a motorcycle club, else where are they all coming from?) So sometimes the traffic is a bit crazy. Heavy enough to shake that side of my house and cause figurines to shift in the china cabinet and pictures to jump off the wall, breaking glass and my peace of mind.  Even on a Saturday.

 LIRR tracks running perpendicular to Ocean Parkway 

That just reminded me of something my grandmother told me about the Long Island Railroad train that used to run right alongside the building in which she lived in the Midwood section of Brooklyn.  Come to think of it, I lived there too, for a year or two, before we began our clandestine trek to the 'burbs.

I had never given much thought to this, being then 5 years old and not yet a train nut, but there were railroad tracks and a tunnel right where it needed to be to take the train under Ocean Parkway.  If I remember correctly, that tunnel was immediately adjacent to the parking garage which ran under the building. (My friend Mark might remember this better than me, being a fellow Midwoodite and train nut.) There was some kind of a pedestrian overpass (I'm pretty sure this is what I am thinking of, captured on film by Forgotten NY), and the building custodian used to build a snow igloo for us kids to play in, or a snowman with coal nugget eyes and a carrot nose (corny, but hey, it was the fifties). When the train, which ran on what was the old LIRR Bay Ridge line, rumbled past our building, my grandmother would have to straighten all the pictures on that side of the apartment.  I am pretty sure that by the time my brother and I had gone to live with my grandparents, that line had stopped running passenger trains, and even freight trains had become infrequent.

I don't remember when or why I became so enamored of trains and rail lines, but whenever that was, it has stuck with me for a lifetime.  Okay, that's enough about choo choos.  For now.

Since it is so nice and quiet on the weekend, Rob and I are pretty serious about firing up the grill and smoking some different meats, most notably a 3 pound hunk of Boar's Head bologna. We've had the smoked bologna at Thompson Brother's BBQ in Smyrna, Georgia any number of times and it is ridiculously delicious.  I've got hickory and apple wood waiting to be soaked in water, beer, or apple juice.  It's been a very long time since I attempted any kind of barbecue, but I used to be kinda good at it.

But right now, I'm focused on a pumpkin carrot raisin bread, using mini loaf tins.  First comes the spice mixture, which I have chosen to make up myself.  This is very different from commercial pumpkin pie spice, or from any of the online recipes.  Those mixtures rely heavily on cloves, which I love (but Robert doesn't), although it still reminds me of childhood trips to the dentist.  I substituted cardamom for the ground ginger, but I am thinking about adding some ginger paste to the actual batter.  There's orange peel in there, and a couple of spicy surprises, but since both pumpkin and carrot tend to be a bit bland, I think this will work.  As you can see, this is most definitely a work in progress.

You dune know how good it is till you try it

Sweet & Spicy Melange 

2 tablespoons ground cinnamon

2 teaspoons ground nutmeg

2 teaspoons ground cardamom

1 1/2 teaspoons ground cloves

2 teaspoons dried orange peel

1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper

1/8  teaspoon cayenne pepper

Combine in a small covered container and set aside.

Sweet & Spicy Pumpkin Carrot Raisin Bread

3 cups all purpose flour
2 tablespoons Sweet & Spicy Melange
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
4 extra large eggs
3 cups sugar
1-15 oz. can pure pumpkin
1 cup canola oil
1/2 cup water

2 cups shredded carrots
1 cup raisins
optional: small amount of pepitas (shelled, roasted pumpkin seeds)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

In a very large mixing bowl, sift together the flour, spice mix, baking soda and salt.  Set aside.

In a large bowl, whisk the eggs with the sugar to combine.  Add the pumpkin, oil and water, whisking lightly after each addition.

Spray 5 mini loaf tins with baking no-stick spray (there is flour in it).  Place the tins on a baking sheet.

Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and stir with a wooden spoon, just to combine. Stir in the carrots and raisins.  Immediately divide the batter among the tins, top with some pepitas on each loaf, and slide into the preheated oven.

Bake for 50 to 55 minutes.  Halfway through, turn the baking sheet front to back.  Remove the finished tins to a cooling rack.  You can leave the breads in the tins until ready to slice and serve.

I have to tell you, these came out even better than expected.  The bread was moist but light, the spice was just right, the pumpkin and carrot were in perfect balance.