Friday, May 29, 2015

How Low Can You Go? - Sweet But Messy Turkey Legs (#TBT)

Great Googly Moogly, what the hell has happened to music?  Ludacris stealing Chubby Checker's cheerful lines appropriate for any bar mitzvah reception and turning them - or should I say twerking them - into a dirty piece of woman-shaming muck!  I'm not a prude - well, not a complete prude - and this really pisses me off.

Every limbo boy and girl
All around the limbo world
Gonna do the limbo rock
All around the limbo clock
Jack be limbo, Jack be quick
Jack go unda limbo stick
All around the limbo clock
Hey, let's do the limbo rock
Limbo lower now
Limbo lower now
How low can you go?

Apparently a lot lower than I could have imagined:

She can go lower than I ever really thought she could
Face down, ass up
The top of yo booty jigglin' out yo'jeans
Baby pull yo'pants up
I like it when I see you do it
Better than I ever seen it done before
A lot of women drop it to the ground
BUT, how low can you go

All this because I found myself starting to write about what a low point I felt I am at, and that led to that 1960's ear worm, except when I googled the damn phrase "how low can you go?" I got kicked into Ludacris speed and the 21st century, and yes, that is a Mel Brooks' reference.

I'm seeing red, but they've gone to plaid.

Okay, this is ridiculous - I have been really feeling bad all day, emotionally trashed, down in the dumps, the poster child for chronic depression, really serious, "thinking bad thoughts" sort of stuff.  Pain and aches, the usual. And that somehow leads me to this Ludacris POS and I don't know what the hell to think anymore.

Rob went to jiu jitsu class, and Cory is at work, and I just had to shut off the TV.  The news was driving me mad, and I was already halfway there. Physically - ah ha ha, we don't even speak about physically anymore.

I had it in my head for a couple of days that I wanted to roast a whole turkey.  When I finally got around to looking for one, I realized that it is damn near impossible to find an off-season turkey, even frozen.  I was in Walmart when I had that revelation, and I was already half way into an inexplicable panic attack, so I had to get out of there.  Yes, I walked out of Walmart empty handed.  Somebody take my temperature.  For some reason, I did not want to handle any food - produce, frozen, whatever - I could not bear the thought of getting my hands dirty.

I did attempt to bake another bread today, but it turned into such a bizarre thing, like Living Dead Yeast Creature, that I would prefer if we never speak of this again. Another day, another post without a recipe.  Oh, but wait! Hashtag TBT - and it really is Thursday - let me go back to the old blog, before the Dark Times, and see what I can find.

This is one of the recipes from the March 6, 2011 entry, and it goes along with my craving for turkey. I can't find the photo that goes with it, so I'll just post one of where I'd rather be this weekend.

Sweet But Messy Turkey Legs

3 small turkey legs
garlic salt (with parsley)
lemon pepper
1 large Spanish onion, rough chop
2 medium carrots, cut crosswise into thirds, then lengthwise into sticks
1-14 oz. can whole berry cranberry sauce
1/2 can duck sauce (use the cranberry sauce can to measure the duck sauce)
1 tablespoon soy sauce

Sprinkle the turkey legs all over with the garlic salt and lemon pepper and set aside while you prepare the onions and carrots.  In a small (smaller rather than large) crockpot, put the onions and carrots in first.  Sprinkle a little bit of kosher salt over the vegetables.  Then add the turkey legs to the crockpot.  Combine the cranberry sauce, duck sauce and soy sauce, and pour over the contents of the crockpot.  Cover and cook on the low setting for eight hours.  Remove the lid, turn off the heat, and let the contents cool so the sauce will thicken.  I recommend serving this with mashed potatoes and a green vegetable like broccoli or Brussel sprouts.

How can such a tiny dog snore so loudly?  Chelsea is not only sawing wood, she's constructing a beach house in Melbourne.  There's that and one (or two) more reasons why I don't fall to sleep easily at night.

I had to wait up for the Strange Yeast Thing to finish baking, so I was lucky enough to run into Cory, who was back from work and assembling a plate of food (Cory eats on Korean Standard Time).  I don't know how, but he had me in stitches - I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time.  I didn't even mind the Strange Yeast Thing as much, and while I wasn't ready to whack off a slice and ingest it, I did ask Cory to take a picture.  I will post it in the fullness of time.

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