Election Day PTSD - A Pasta Salad with Balls

I think the title of this post says it all.

When I was a kid back in Brooklyn and North Woodmere, my Pop, who read 3 newspapers a day and watched the evening news with the devotion of a true Cronkite acolyte, told me something so crystal-clear brilliant, so profound, so prophetic, that it still holds true today.  In one concise sentence, he summed up everything I would ever need to know about the election process:

"Politics is the dirtiest game around."

I was interested in the Presidential election of 1960, which makes me seven years old.  There was a big media hoopla about the possibility of the first Roman Catholic President, and I was trying to reconcile that with the fact that I just knew that George Washington hadn't been Jewish.  My grandparents were supporting Richard Nixon, so I was supporting Richard Nixon.  Mr. Nixon might not have had reason to appreciate the support of a 7-year old non-voter,  but I bet he did appreciate it in 1972 when I cast my first vote ever for his re-election to the Presidency.

Although my husband and I discuss politics habitually, I have never gotten past my Pop's words.  I dislike the two-party system immensely; when I was a registered Democrat, I voted Republican, and when I finally got around to changing it to Republican, I voted for Bill Clinton.  Twice.  I don't like the second-tier parties either; the Libertarians talk a good game but are just plain weird;  the Green Party bears the name of my second least favorite color, orange being the first, and the association with Ralph Nader remains off-putting; I am neither a Communist, Socialist, American Nazi (seriously?), or American Pirate (double seriously??)  I joke around that I am a Rational Anarchist, like Professor Bernardo de la Paz, a character in Heinlein's The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, but I'm not sure what that really means, and anything with "anarchist" in the title is bound to attract the interest of whomever the White House has set to the task of spying on the internet.

So this year I dropped all party affiliation and became an independent.  I actually feel a little cleaner for having done so.  I don't really care that the Republicans now control the two houses of Congress, other than as an intellectual exercise, because I am not a Republican.  I don't care that the Democrats got kicked in the gut last night because I am not a Democrat.  I did not vote for the guy in the White House, not because I'm a racist (seriously???) but because he was and still is a lightweight.  During the entire Republican administration of Bush the Younger, I would leave the room when he appeared to speak on the TV, because I could not tolerate his obvious ineptitude and blatant mischaracterization of the war on terror.  I really liked former Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney.  My favorite President of all time happens to be a Democrat, and he is my favorite not because he is a Democrat but because he is Bill Clinton.

Yesterday's election results, and the campaign season that preceded it, did nothing to change my mind about politics.  For instance, no matter who you may have voted for in the Florida Governor's race, you got screwed.  Two bad choices are no choice at all.  It was either Lord Voldemort or the Second Runner- up in the George Hamilton Tanning Invitational.  The campaign was so dirty I wanted to run and take a shower each time the ads showed up on TV.  My Pop was right.  Politics is a sad commentary on the current state of human nature, possibly the saddest and definitely the dirtiest.

Let's talk about food.

The idea for this pasta salad goes back a few years, and arose from one of my weekend trips to BJs.  There was an office potluck coming up, and I was always given free reign as to what I would be bringing.  The refrigerated cases full of little mozzarella balls inspired me to snag them plus some marinated artichoke hearts and Mother Nature's gift to salad-lovers, sweet little grape tomatoes. The next day, I brought the unopened jars and the box of tomatoes to the office with a big Tupperware bowl, and literally threw together an antipasto salad in just under 3 minutes.  I think I was amazed that my coworkers were amazed, because I felt I had cheated them by not cooking from scratch, while they were singing my culinary praises.  I love those guys.

This is a more carefully planned version, transformed into a pasta salad full of umami (also described as the fifth taste), so easy to prepare you will pinch yourself.  Take your time in between the few steps - sit down, put your feet up, watch the Magic lose yet again - and then serve it to all the happy campers in your life.

A Pasta Salad with Balls

1 pound container marinated ciliegine (small mozzarella balls)
2 cups grape tomatoes, uncut
1 cup marinated mushrooms
1-12 oz. jar quartered and marinated artichoke hearts
1 cup mild pepper rings
1/2 cup manzanilla green olives stuffed with pimento
1/2 cup pitted kalamata olives
1-4 oz. jar sliced pimentos
1/4 cup sun-dried julienne cut tomatoes in olive oil with herbs

1 T. dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper

1-3.75 oz. Sargento Parmentino cheese, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1-5 oz. package Hormel pepperoni minis

1 medium green bell pepper, cut into 1/2-inch squares
1 bunch of green onions, white part only, sliced thin

2/3 of a 1 pound box of Barilla's TriColor Rotini, cooked according to package direction, rinsed with cold water and well-drained
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

Remove each of the first 9 ingredients from their respective jars with a slotted spoon or a fork.  You want each element to retain a coating of the marinade and spices they were packed in.  Reserve all of the marinade from the mozzarella.  Place all of these 9 ingredients in a very large bowl.  Add the oregano, Italian seasoning and pepper, and carefully mix everything together so that the spices are well-distributed.  Add the parmentino cubes and the pepperoni minis, then moisten with about half of the reserved marinates.  Mix again, cover, and refrigerate for at least a couple of hours, longer if you like.  Now add the green peppers and green onions, a little more of the marinade, and a bit more of the oregano, Italian seasoning and black pepper.  Carefully mix to combine, cover and back in the fridge.  Place the well-drained, cooled pasta in a medium bowl, pour over the remaining marinade, season with oregano, Italian seasoning, black pepper and the salt, and stir to combine.  Cover and place in the fridge as well.  After an hour, add the pasta to the rest of the salad, and serve.  Or cover and hold it for the next day.  The recipe makes a lot, feeds a crowd, and will make your reputation as a pasta salad maven.  There is almost no chopping and no waste, but lots of accolades.  Enjoy!

Crazy Cat Ladies Who Knit Through the Night - Ladder Cable Fingerless Mitts (a different kind of recipe)

(This is a #throwback post from 2008, from my defunct knitting blog, "Knit Until the Cows Come Home")

Another one of those age-old questions. Chicken-and-egg kind of stuff. Really, which came first - a knitter's compulsion to live among as many cats as possible, or a cat-lover's need to play with string?

If you doubt me at all, take a good look at Ravelry or any number of independent knitting blogs on the net. People don't post pics of their kids, or their cars, or that diamond brooch you inherited from dear Aunt Minnie - no indeed, they post pics of their cats. Multiple furry talisman.

I count myself among the terminally feline-impaired, and offer you this photo of my newest owner. His mother left him outside the door of my office when he was but 2-3 weeks old. We bonded over a mini-kitty-bottle, and with the help of my trusty mommy-surrogate, Athene, we raised him to be the fine strong boy you see to the right.

His name? Anakin Skywalker, or as we find ourselves calling him in the evening when his Dark Side comes through, Lord Vader. Darth Kitten has grown and flourished. How do you like that Duff Goldman goatee he is sporting?

I was a knitter long before I took that fatal step of sharing my home with a cat. Call it fate, call it karma, call the Ghostbusters - nah, never mind. I'm hooked. 

And to quote Captain Jonathan Archer of the Starship Enterprise, "wouldn't have it any other way."

November 4, 2014

Another good morning.  Shhhhhh!  If I say it out loud, I will give myself a kinehora, and that would be bad.  Let me just state - quietly - that I have the best job in the world.  That is not to say I don't get exhausted, or angry, or frustrated, or demoralized, or stressed-out, but despite all that, the sheer pleasure I derive from doing what I do never wanes.

The best stress-reliever for the tough times is a cruise.  A 4 or 5 day cruise to the Bahamas can lift my spirits and quiet my soul, especially if I don't get off the ship.  Of course, one cannot cruise all the time, gosh darn it.

When I can't cruise, which is most of the time, I find that knitting, and it's country cousin, crocheting, to be the best medicine in times of trouble or stress.  Knitting while on a cruise?  Sheer, unadulterated ecstasy.  Carnival Ecstasy, that is.

The only problem with knitting on a cruise is the absence of cats.  Who else can organize a knitter's needles and other knitting impedimenta with such determined ease?

And what other creature on God's green Earth is so agreeable about modeling a knitted garment over and over and over again?

Let's face it, cats and knitting go together like Bogey and Bacall ... Taylor and Burton ... green eggs and ham ... champagne and caviar ...  Heck, I feel myself relaxing just by looking at these photos.

A different kind of original recipe:


Ladder Cable Fingerless Mitts

Ladder Cable Pattern adapted from The Knitting Stitch Bible by Maria Parry-Jones

Size: adult small

Needles: US Size 5 DPN (increase needle size for larger mitt)
Yarn: Paton’s Classic Wool

Abbreviations: C4F (cable 4 forward) - place 2 stitches on holder or another dpn, hold in front of work, knit the next 2 stitches, and then knit the stitches on holder.


Ladder Cable Pattern, multiple of 14 stitches:
Row 1 – P1, K2, P4, K2, P1, K4
Row 2 – Repeat Row 1

Row 3 – P1, K8, P1, K4
Row 4 – Repeat Row 3

Row 5 – P1, K2, P4, K2, P1, C4F
Row 6 – Repeat Row 1

Row 7 – Repeat Row 3
Row 8 – Repeat Row 3

Row 9 – Repeat Row 1
Row 10 – Repeat Row 1

Row 11 – P1, K8, P1, C4F
Row 12 – Repeat Row 3

Cast on 42 stitches. Divide 14 on each of 3 needles.

Cuff: Repeat Row 1 of pattern for a total of 18 rows.

Body of Mitt: Begin pattern, Rows 1-12, then Rows 1-11.

Next Row: following pattern for Row 12, work across needle 1 and then needle 2 up to the last 4 stitches. Knit 2, make one stitch, knit 2, and then complete pattern across needle 3. (You will be increasing for the thumb gusset from the middle of the middle cable.)

Next Row: follow pattern for Row 1, placing markers on either side of increased stitch on needle 2.

Next Row: follow pattern for Row 2 across needle 1 and then needle 2 up to last 5 stitches. Knit 2, slip marker, increase 1 stitch using lifted bar method, knit 1, increase 1 more stitch, slip marker, knit 2, go on to needle 3.

Next Row : follow pattern for Row 3

Next Row: follow pattern for Row 4, increasing 2 stitches for thumb gusset (my preference – slip marker, knit 1, increase 1, knit to within one stitch before marker, increase 1, knit 1, slip marker, continue in pattern.)

Repeat last two rows until there are 15 stitches total between the markers. (You should be ending on a Row 2 of pattern.)

Next Row: follow pattern for Row 3, placing thumb stitches on separate needle. Continue in pattern until Row 12, then repeat cuff pattern for 9 more rows. Bind off loosely.

Thumb: Pick up 5 stitches, and knit across the 15 stitches on the separate needle. Divide the 20 stitches across 3 needles, and knit around for 6 more rows, bind off loosely, and finish.
 
Edited on 3/30/08 to add photos.

Turn the Beet Around - Roasted Root Vegetables

The weekend we were in Georgia for the wedding went far too quickly.  We like Georgia, a lot, and have spent more than a casual amount of time in and around Atlanta and Savannah.  The wedding venue was a little too far from Atlanta to hit some of our usual haunts, like Thompson Brothers BBQ in Smyrna, the Varsity, right smack downtown near the site of the 1996 Olympics, or even the Dekalb Farmers Market, but that just give us an excuse to come back.

Having said that, everything having to do with the wedding was perfect.  The weather, the location (gorgeous), the service (just the right length of time and sweetness), the food (delicious) and the two glasses of white zinfandel.  The groom was the younger son of dear friends and we were honored to have been invited.

I loved the smoked salmon roll-up, with its delicate wrapper and a touch of cucumber in the filling.  Back in the days when we would attend the Disney Food and Wine Festival, one of our first stops was always at Norway, so I could enjoy their gravlax salmon wrapped in lefse, a potato flatbread.  I have tried to replicate the gravlax rolls over the years, but tortillas lack the delicacy of the lefse, so while my version is good, it's not great.  The wrapper on the wedding canapé gave me another idea (lefse still being unavailable in Central Florida), and I will be testing out my theory.  You can expect my full report sometime in the future.

I also loved the side dish of roasted root vegetables, their exteriors perfectly caramelized and their flavors perfectly intensified.  This glorious melange included potatoes, carrots, and beets, and I ate the beets and the world did not end nor did I have to run to the restroom to relieve myself of an offending mouthful.

But I hate beets.  Don't I?

Apparently not, at least not if they are roasted.  I've always liked to roast vegetables like potatoes, carrots, brussel sprouts and onions, so why not throw a couple of fresh beets into the mix?

1/4 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons pure maple syrup
3 garlic cloves, minced or micro-planed
3 beets, peeled, quartered
2 Russet potatoes, cut into eights
2 carrots, peeled, cut diagonally into 2-inch-long pieces
2 parsnips, peeled, cut diagonally into 2-inch-long pieces
1 large sweet potato, peeled, cut into 1 1/2-inch pieces
1 rutabaga, peeled, cut into 1 1/2-inch pieces
1 large onion, peeled, quartered through root end
1/3 cup chopped green onions

kosher salt and ground black pepper

Preheat oven to 350°F. Mix oil, syrup and garlic in small bowl. Place all remaining ingredients except green onions on heavy large rimmed baking sheet. Pour oil mixture over; toss to coat. Spread out vegetables in single layer. Sprinkle generously with salt and pepper. Roast until tender and golden brown, stirring occasionally, about 1 1/2 hours. Transfer vegetables to platter.  Sprinkle with chopped green onions.

Well, I made a few minor changes to the original recipe.  I also used the oil and maple syrup a bit too generously, not bothering to measure.  Not sure the green onions added anything; next time I might use another fresh herb or skip it all together.  This makes a huge amount, which is great for Thanksgiving,  not so great for at-home during the week.  It was still pretty good, and I would definitely make it again, especially for a crowd or a potluck.

The Artist Formerly Known

I am an artist and my medium is food.  Well, sometimes it is yarn, but for the purposes of this post, it is food.

Yesterday, a Monday, went surprisingly well.  I came home with enough energy to fill the manicotti shells and slice the pork loin.  I am enjoying my accomplishments, but not getting ahead of myself.   There is beef stew to skim and a sage cream sauce to create.  I would like to try the Thanksgiving stuffing bread again, because it could benefit from a few tweaks and fiddles (which is why it hasn't been posted yet.)  There is also an application to be filled out for passport renewal (those were the fastest ten years of my life) and plans to be made for the Big Pig Jig in Vienna (pronounced Vy-Anna) Georgia.  My evenings are nothing if not interesting.

Is that not a gorgeous hunk of pork loin?  Seriously, look at that appetizing glisten of the maple barbecue sauce!  And I cannot help but admire the consummate skill of the carver who wielded that vintage 1974 electric knife with such success!  (Cooking and carving is so much better than watching an endless parade of political ads, by the way.)

A photo of the 1974 electric knife with the 1977 crockpot. Old friends. No, I mean it, really old friends.

That was the cooked pork loin I defrosted the other day, and it was as delicious as the day I originally made it, maybe even better.  The Thanksgiving stuffing bread recipe, including the tweak and fiddle has finally been posted.  And on a more serious note, thank you to everyone who said a prayer for Peter.  Reports from Tennessee are good.

Finally, tomorrow is Election Day.  Regardless of your preferences or party affiliation, please get out there and vote - it reminds the politicians that we're paying attention.

Giving thanks for Thanksgiving - Thanksgiving Stuffing Bread

"The Y2K problem is the electronic equivalent of the El Niño and there will be nasty surprises around the globe." — John Hamre, United States Deputy Secretary of Defense^[5]

Hmmm ... well, that certainly explains how the year 2000 played out for my family.  Not that it started badly; on the contrary.  First, as New Year's Eve rolled along, I got a phone call from my childhood friend, Bethe.  We had only recently found each other after a 30 year lapse.  She had already celebrated the New Year - in Romania! - and called to send her love and good wishes.  I was looking forward to seeing her in about a month, at my son's bar mitzvah.

The next day, the sun rose, the sky was blue, the World Wide Web neither crashed nor burned, and my husband became a godfather when our dear friends Laura and Jay were blessed by the birth of their second child.  Eight days later, I sighed with relief as my husband carried his godson to his grandmother's arms on his way to the bris.  He neither dropped the baby nor passed out during the actual circumcision, and that was a good thing.

The year moved along with happy occasions and family celebrations.  My son's bar mitzvah was everything I had hoped it would be.  My Number One Niece graduated high school.  My Number Two Niece celebrated her bat mitzvah.  2000 was tricking us into thinking that everything was going to be alright.

Our First Cruise - Thanksgiving 2001

But there was a problem brewing that year which unfortunately upset a lot of apple carts, and made us want to be somewhere else for family gatherings.  Thanks to our friends Jay and Laura (Jay had to stage an intervention, as I had not been on a vacation in 10 years) we traveled with their family to St. Croix over Thanksgiving, and then with Bethe and her family, continued to travel at Thanksgiving for a few years afterwards.  That first Thanksgiving, though, went out with the Year 2000 slide into hell.  The trip to St. Croix was glorious, but we spent a lot of time watching hanging chads, and then on November 27, our last evening on the island, we got a call that my grandmother had passed away in her sleep.

Ah, Venice - Thanksgiving 2004

In addition to St. Croix, we traveled to Mexico and the Caribbean, and even twice to Europe.  Oh, those trips were wonderful, and I will treasure the memories, but I never did get over a weird feeling at eating something other than turkey and stuffing at Thanksgiving.  My son, on the other hand, had no problems eating warm water lobster and squid ink risotto on that most American holiday.

At the Acropolis in Athens, Greece, Thanksgiving 2005

The trips stopped after a while - work schedules and competing financial obligations, and the original problem had sort of resolved itself - and although Bethe and I talked about possibly starting up again for Thanksgiving 2012, we were not able to make it happen.  So I've gotten back into the habit of wrestling a turkey and making too many side dishes, and I'm okay with that. Thanksgiving remains my favorite holiday for cooking and eating.  I love the planning stages and I love the execution. 

Cory eating spiny lobster for dinner in St. Croix, Thanksgiving, 2000

Now, the question remains - what about baking a bread with certain herbs and spices, specifically for the purpose of preparing the stuffing (or dressing, I'm not fussy) for the turkey?  It so happens I came across such a recipe while looking through one of my bread machine cookbooks, and the bread machine was out on the counter anyway from the Hungarian onion bread, and I still had yeast available, and you know what happened - I tried the recipe.  Maybe I made a few minor changes - added a couple of herbs, doubled the amount of one or two spices, that sort of thing - and then there was that small stalk of celery - well, we will just have to wait and see.  It just seems to me that most American recipes are woefully under-seasoned, which is why you should taste, re-season, and taste again when cooking.  But you can't do that when baking, so I am taking a chance upfront.  If it works, I will happily share the recipe with you, and if not, we'll pretend this conversation never took place.

A little later ... 

Better than expected.  I was concerned when the top inexplicably sank, but it did not affect the flavor or texture.  This is definitely a great bread for stuffing (and for eating, I keep picking at it.  Tasty.)  The flavor of the spices and herbs is very pronounced, but not obnoxiously so.  Cut into cubes, dried out a bit, and mixed with cooked sausage and maybe some apple, celery and onion sauteed in a little butter, an egg to bind it - I look forward to experimenting.  

Thanksgiving Stuffing Bread

This is a recipe for a bread machine, so add the ingredients to the bread pan in the order given, unless your manufacturer suggests otherwise.

1 1/3 cups water
1 extra large egg
4 tablespoons butter
1/2 cup diced onion
1 small stalk of celery, chopped
4 teaspoons sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon black pepper
2 teaspoons rubbed sage
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon dried rosemary
1 teaspoon celery seed
1 teaspoon poultry seasoning
2 teaspoons granulated garlic
1 cup precooked cornmeal (masarepa, masa de harina)
3 1/3 cups bread flour
1 packet of Rapid Rise (Highly Active) Yeast

Set your machine for White or Basic Cycle.  Let the bread bake according to the machine manufacturer's directions.  Cool, slice, and store for Thanksgiving.

November 3, 2014

I was not totally satisfied with the recipe, so I re-ran it tonight, with a couple of important adjustments.  I really think part of the problem with the first bread was that I misjudged the amount of liquid by using a sweet onion, uncalled-for-chopped celery, and an extra-large egg.  

Here are all of the changes I made:

Make sure that you are using a regular yellow onion, and measure exactly 1/2 cup
Use 1 large egg instead of an extra-large
Eliminate the celery
Add 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional)
Use coarse yellow cornmeal instead of the masarepa
Use just 2 teaspoons of yeast, instead of the entire packet

Now I'm just waiting for the baking to be over.

Isn't that perfect?

Apparently not.

The last time I saw a sinkhole like that was on the 5 o'clock news.

(It still tastes good.)