Woody's Excellent Adventure

Saturday - Having exhausted my own list of doctors, this morning I headed over to my kids' doctor.  The veterinarians at Hunter's Creek Animal Hospital have cared for every single one of my furry kids, the only exception being Ira the First.  (We shall not take this moment to extol the virtues of rats as pets nor compare them to their crazed cousins, the hamsters).

After I wrote that, I realized I had piqued my curiosity and made a list of all of my pets who have been treated at Hunter's Creek Animal Hospital. Whoa. Ten cats, six  dogs, all needing regular care, medication, boarding - I must have put somebody's kid through college.        

Dora the First (Little Dora)
Ira the First (El Exigente, the Demanding One)
Minerva Athene (Minerva the Claw)

Pixel Piacentino (Lord Pixel, Schrodinger's Cat)

Zebadiah John Carter (Zebbie)

Princess Polly Ponderosa Penelope Peachfuzz (Polly the Paw)

Ira Cesar Arana Castaneda Morris the Second

Emeril Lagasse (Em the Street Cat)

Dejah Thoris (Deety)
Dora the Second (Dora Maureen, Dodi Li)

Romeo Lee (Puppy - yes, he thinks his name is Puppy)

Anakin Skywalker (Darth Kitten, Lord Vader)

Athene Minerva (Teena)

Tuffy Elvis

Woodrow Wilson Smith (Woody)

Indiana Jones

Chelsea Rose

I never had pets as a kid; my first cat, Ira Cesar Arana Castenada Morris the First (El Exigente, The Demanding One) came to live with me in 1976. I can only imagine I've been trying to make up for lost time.

The vets at HCA are the best.  My favorites are Dr. Jim Vega, who took such exquisite care of Ira through diabetes, seizures, and cancer, and Dr. Valerie Marino.  It was Dr. Marino we were visiting this morning to try to find out why Woody was acting so weird.  Hiding in the corner of the kitchen, behind Anakin's litter box; sleeping in the dustpan,  drinking extra water, losing weight, refusing treats, that sort of thing.  Concerning because he will be 12 in November, a dog of mature years teetering on the edge of old age.  Sort of like me.    

But he was fine this morning, proud to be walking on Tuffy's blue leash, lifting his leg at the fire hydrant in front of our house and showing the world who is in charge, riding in the front seat by himself and not having to share with a sibling or two.  He showed his vulnerable side inside the vet's office, but just enough to garner sympathy and extra hugs, and then he decided which door we should exit through (the door that had "EXIT" written on it, of course. This boy can read).  As if that wasn't exciting enough, we went shopping! in a new! Petsmart! and helped me pick out a few things while receiving admiring glances from canine as well as human females.   That pretty dachshund wanted to make his acquaintance, it was very obvious. Finally, we headed home, sharing a few nacho-flavored Bugle snacks in the car, and he bounded up the front steps, eager to brag (just a little) to his brothers and sister.

It was an excellent adventure for Woody, and now he is passed out next to me on the couch.  Rob and I both think that what he needed was a whole lot of personal attention.  Yes, we will fine-tune the pH of his urine, and feed him a little soft food, and wait for the results of the zillion blood tests. He has a little heart murmur, and his old teeth are failing him, but he is in pretty darn good shape. Excellent shape.

I came across a recipe for devilled avocado eggs which looks really good - sort of like guacamole in an egg white shell - but I have no avocado en la casa, no cilantro, and no energy to go out to pick some up.  Publix is closed tomorrow for the Easter holiday, as it should be.  So either I wait for Monday to snag an avocado, or do something else.  I'm leaning towards Something Else, but first I have to check on just how much cooked food is already inhabiting my refrigerators.

I may wait for Monday before I devil any eggs, but I am planning on making matzo brei for tomorrow's breakfast.

The Magic won tonight, beating Milwaukee.  That's two in a row, two on the road.  Go Magic!

Mah Nishtanah - Why Is This Night Different From All Other Nights?

Good Friday, Day 23 - This year, Easter and Pesach (Passover) fall out at the same time; today is Good Friday and also the first night of Passover.  I love when that happens.  I also love that I snagged the last two boxes of egg matzo in Osceola County.  I haven't opened them yet; that first taste of Pesach matzo is special and should be saved for the start of the holiday.

This holiday weekend I am going to do my best to not think about all the medical tests and procedures of the last few weeks.  Yesterday I went for the mammogram, ultrasound, and dexascan.  I'm not worried about the dexascan, but the others - well, as you know, the lab folks generally won't discuss what they see, but one can learn a bit from body language, verbal cues, and reading upside down.  There is definitely something - several somethings - on the right side, but that was no surprise.     Both lab techs seemed concerned at what they saw.  At the very least, I see a needle biopsy in my immediate future.   I also got a phone call to come in and discuss the results of my BRCA test with my doctor.  And I already had an appointment to discuss my hormonal blood test results.  If I am lucky, she will have the official results from the ta-ta testing by then.  I am going to try real hard not to dwell on any of this until I get to talk to her.  There is nothing I can do about it between now and then, and if there is something I need to take care of, it will be after we return from the cruise. Same goes for the gastrenterology stuff.  My appointment with that doctor isn't until May 11, which I'm guessing is a good sign because his office picked the date and made the appointment for me.

The CPS is quiet right now; no pain, no brain fog.  A peaceful interlude.

Our seder at Jay and Laura's house was so very, very nice.  The stuffing I brought was well-received. Jay prepared the charoses, and Laura handled everything else, including fluffy knaidlach (matzo balls).  Delicious.  For me, however, the best part of the meal is the Hillel sandwich - charoses and horseradish on a bit of matzo.  I think that should be a little sandwich offered at an English High Tea.  Now there's an idea. We all took turns reading from the Haggadah, which relates the story of Passover and the Hebrews' escape from Egyptian slavery. I had four glasses (sips) of wine, and still managed to wield an electric knife in the Carving of the Pesach Turkey.  Life is good when you have friends with whom to share the holidays.

No cooking for me today.  I gave Woody a bath, using Dawn dishwashing liquid to help with the fleas.  Yes, Dawn.  It's safe, and it works.  I tried it on Chelsea the other night.  Both doggies are clean, flea-free (for now, anyway) and their fur is soft and silky.  Dawn - who knew?

Anyway, I have a new project to obsess over - a front yard vegetable garden!  Herbs and tomatoes and peppers and zucchini.  And herbs.  Lots of herbs.  I'm very excited about it.  Maybe strawberries. Yes, very excited. Totally clueless, but excited.

Anakin watches the world from the kitchen window

To my Jewish and Christian family and friends, I wish you all a happy, healthy, and peaceful holiday.

Even Kids With Chicken Pox - Passover Potato Cauliflower Farfel Stuffing

Thursday, Day 22 - If you've ever seen the movie "Demolition Man", you will understand when I state that the very worst of all ear worms come from childhood commercials.  The irony, by the way, is that all those kids with chicken pox who liked Armour hot dogs are now living in fear of coming down with shingles.  I know I am, and I only ate Hebrew National hot dogs as a kid.

One of the cuter commercials periodically invades my brain, if for no other reason that it has to do with chocolate.  Nestle's does not, in my opinion, make the very best chocolate, but circa 1955 they did make the cutest commercials.

Which brings us to Farfel.

No, the other farfel.  Matzo farfel.  Which is matzo that has been broken into uniform sized bits.  Nothing to do with Nestle's or chocolate or canine hand puppets with snapping jaws.  It was matzo farfel that I needed to prepare a proper turkey stuffing for Passover seder, and it was matzo farfel that I could not find in Publix.  With that a fairly major problem, I planned on substituting a cauliflower potato mash-based  stuffing, incorporating the only Passover matzo product I had in the house, which was matzo meal.

Or so I thought.  Turns out that I did have a nice, new, hermetically sealed container of matzo farfel tucked in a safe spot on a different pantry shelf.  So I decided to incorporate both ideas, which resulted in a pretty tasty dish. Along with the potatoes, cauliflower, and matzo farfel, this stuffing includes sautéed onions, celery, garlic, turkey sausage, oven-roasted mushrooms, and a whole lot of seasoning.  The only thing I would change is to reduce the amount of potato and cauliflower to 1 pound each.

1 1/2 pounds petite red potatoes, halved or quartered
1 1/2 pounds cauliflower florets
1/2 stick butter
1 tablespoon kosher salt
1/2 tablespoon ground black pepper

Boil the potatoes and cauliflower together for about 20 minutes until tender.  Mash together with the butter, salt, and pepper.  Set aside.

1 pound bulk turkey sausage
2 large onions, chopped
3 large stalks celery, chopped
6 cloves garlic
reserved mushroom stems
2 tablespoons roasted garlic olive oil
2 tablespoons butter
handful of fresh flat leaf parsley, chopped
Spices: Emeril's Essence, kosher salt, black pepper, granulated garlic, ground ginger, dried thyme, dried rosemary, rubbed sage - to taste
1 pound matzo farfel (about 6 cups)
2 cups water
1/2 stick butter

In a large deep skillet heat the olive oil, then add the sausage.  Break it up as you cook it, then add the onions, celery, garlic, mushrooms and 2 tablespoons butter.  Cook everything together until sausage is no longer pink and the onions are tender.  Stir in the spices and the fresh parsley.  Add the water and 1/2 stick butter;  once the butter is melted, add the farfel.  Stir well until the farfel is moistened.

1 pound whole button mushrooms, stems trimmed level with cap.  Reserve stems
3 tablespoons roasted garlic olive oil
kosher salt
ground mixed peppercorns

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.  Add the mushroom caps to a baking dish with the oil, salt, and pepper, stir well.  Turn the caps stem-side down and bake for 30-35 minutes.  Turn over and bake 5 minutes longer.  When the mushrooms are cool enough to handle, cut into quarters.

4 extra large eggs

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a very large mixing bowl, combine all the above mixtures.  Taste and re-season generously.  Then add the eggs and mix well by hand.  Turn the stuffing into an aluminum baking dish.  Drizzle the top with a little garlic olive oil. Bake until heated through and crispy on top, one to 1 1/4 hours.  Sprinkle with paprika and parsley flakes, and serve to a deeply appreciative audience.

Flying High Now - The Original Split Pea Soup

Wednesday, Day 21 - Stick a fork in me, the Do Over is Done. Many thanks to my son, who got me there, and back, and there again, and back ... finally to have my first cup of decent coffee in three days, accompanied by one of those cute chocolate mini-scones, I had picked up at Whole Foods for that express purpose.

Of course after the anesthesia, I wasn't as steady on my feet as I had hoped, and I was more than happy to take my coffee and my Yorkies and head upstairs for a while.  With my feet back up on the bed, I wasn't doing much better than yesterday, and I guess Chelsea must have known that, because she decided to walk across the iPad keyboard and turn on the music.

Smart little girl.  The "Theme from Rocky" always lifts my spirits.  I'm not sure how she learned that little trick; I think it must have been Anakin who showed her the way (that's not a Peter Frampton reference, by the way.)  But it worked, as I am giving serious thought to heading over to Publix to pick up this and that, and then taking on some of the cooking I had to put off.

Bad idea.  Which did not stop me from food shopping, but I should have stayed home.  My digestive system is still complaining about the three-day assault, and I should have shown it a bit more respect. Not only that, but having driven to Publix, I was more than a bit frustrated that they had nary a Passover shelf to be found.  Oh, they had boxes of matzo in the regular Jewish section, but not one was for Passover use.  No matzo farfel, no matzo meal, no cake meal nor potato starch.  Not even a container of overly-sweet coconut macaroons.  How am I supposed to make farfel stuffing without farfel?

We'll talk about that tomorrow.  Today is the day I am making my split pea soup, based on the split pea soup recipe I submitted to the Sisterhood of Congregation Shalom Aleichem cookbook in the mid-nineties.  Today I have made a few small changes - I am using smoked meat (neck bones) instead of a milder ham bone, and so I added an extra quart of water and some sugar.  As I sit here now, I hope I did not misjudge the amount of neck bone I added to the soup.  I also threw in 2 cloves of garlic with the caramelizing onions, and some black pepper along with the salt and basil.

I gave in to my paranoia and removed one of the neck bones while the soup still had another hour to cook.

Oh hell, I just lost two full paragraphs ... I know it had something to do with chopped herring ... no, I am not making that up.  I was planning a luncheon, and I had a theme, and a menu and I'd even designed an invitation.  It was witty culinary repartee and now it's lost.  Nuts.

Well, at least I didn't lose the recipe, which I got from my grandmother-who-raised-me many years ago.  That woman had a way with onions, and I can't deny ...

The Original Split Pea Soup

1 pound split green peas, rinsed under cool water (don't skip this)
2 large grated carrots (yes grated, not sliced, diced, chopped or minced.  Oh, and grate them yourself)
3 stalks chopped celery
3 onions, chopped
3 tablespoons butter
1 1/2 pounds beef, ham, or pork bones, optional
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon dried sweet basil
black pepper, to taste
2 quarts water
3-4 kosher frankfurters, sliced

Melt the butter in a large deep pot on medium high.  Add 2 of the chopped onions, and sauté until golden brown.  This should take awhile to get the right degree of caramelization, and lower the heat as needed to avoid burning the onions.  Add the water, and then all the remaining ingredients except the frankfurters.  Bring to a boil, reduce the heat and simmer, partially covered, for 1 1/2 to 2 hours.  Remove the meat bones from the soup, remove the meat from the bones and return it to the soup.  Add the sliced frankfurters and simmer another 10 minutes, uncovered.  Stir well to break up the peas.

Do Over

Tuesday, Day 20 - Sometimes I am my own worst enemy.  This was one of those times.

As a result of my lack of due diligence, tomorrow is a colonoscopy do over. Don't ask; you wouldn't want the details.

So as I spend another day in purdah, away from my kitchen (because if I cook, I taste), I am enjoying quality time with Chelsea.  My little sweetheart has discovered the joy of sleeping with her head on my pillow, and who am I to discourage her?  While she alternates snoring and wheezing, both completely normal for her, I am looking at Sephardic Passover recipes.  I wish I knew definitively if  my one-eighth Dutch heritage is also Sephardic, but I haven't even tried to delve into that level of genealogical research. Being seven-eighths pure shtetl Ashkenazi has always dominated my personal history, culture, and culinary roots.  Except for falafel, but everybody eats falafel.  Our family name - Nathan, or Natan - could be Sephardic.  History tells us that following the Spanish and Portuguese Inquisitions, many of those Jews (including crypto-Jews) headed to the Netherlands.  My mother-who-died-much-too-young had the maiden name of Nathan, and we know the Nathans were Dutch.  I think of myself as a speculative Sephardi, and that lets me work with rice, peas and beans during Passover.

For Pesach, I plan to make a farfel stuffing to accompany the turkey that our hostess is preparing for Seder and Friday night.  No rice, peas or beans, mind you; one woman's speculation is another woman's kitniyot. But there shall be matzo farfel instead of bread, and lot and lots of fried onions and celery.

Having made serious inroads on the clear and convincing chicken soup, I have already turned my thoughts to split pea soup.  After 3 days of prep for the damn colonoscopy, all I can do is dream of food.  Truly, I cannot wait until this is over.

One thing I will never dream about again is Jell-o.  I always liked Jell-o, but haven't eaten it since my gastric bypass 12 years ago.  Apparently I've lost my taste for it, and now all I can think of is a Color War song from Camp Anawana, circa 1960-1962:

The punch is so mellow,
it tastes like melted Jell-o
and the next day we all look grim.
And the clinic line is growing,
because we all are going,
and Doc Goldstein just gives us Coricidan.