Friday, August 21, 2015

Aw geez, not again ... Good Mushrooms

...  are there any normal people left in this effed-up world?  This time my rant is brought on by the news that the suspended, and now permanently erased, long-time spokesman for the Subway sandwich chain has pled guilty, not only to possession of child pornography but to multiple acts of sexual acts with minors.

I had all kinds of ideas for cooking, but found my head galloping in too many directions.  The blueberry lemon rugelach and PB&J sandwich wafers are going to have to be another blog post, maybe two. And then there is, or will be, the smoked pork shoulder.  Apparently, despite all the hours I have spent watching BBQ Pitmasters, I have forgotten just how long it takes to actually smoke the meat, and how involved and time-consuming the preparation can and should be.  So although my original plan was to fire up the grill this morning, I'm going to slow down and gather my thoughts, my barbecue rubs, injections, and mops.  I've never actually smoked a pork shoulder on the grill - I've done ribs, brisket, and beer can chicken - so this should be fun, despite the steep learning curve ahead of me.  Good thing this kind of cooking calls for "low and slow" because slow is the only way this spoonie rolls.

That reminds me - when I was a kid, my Pop always complained I had two speeds - slow and stop.  I guess he was trying to say I had no sense of urgency, and as a teenager I felt mildly insulted over that canard.  As an old lady, I have to admit he made a good point.  I am, as the saying goes, going nowhere fast.

So, no cookies today and no smoked pork butt.  I am making slow cooker chili, but that is really about testing a product and following the product's instructions.  I have to say, the house smells awesome a six-hour cooking period, but there's more to go, especially as this starts with dried beans.  I don't care; this chili is better than air freshener.

I did go to Publix to pick up the rest of the stuff needed for the smoking project, but it was sheer hell. Unbelievable pain all over, but I kept walking because, as I told myself, if you stop walking you will die.  It's the same thing I used to repeat to myself when I was a B.G. (Big Girl) and pushing those 274 pounds on my dinky ankles, along the half block between my office and the courthouse was a precarious undertaking.  Never graceful, I fell with annoying regularity.  I battered both knees and ruined more pantyhose than some people wear in a lifetime.  I got winded.  I was terrified that I would fall into the street and get hit by a car, or a paying client would see me with my skirt over my face and my slip showing.

I have nothing to show for the day, at least in a food sense, except for the chili and these mushrooms:

My bad, I didn't even get the potatoes mashed.  Here's the recipe for the mushrooms:

1/2 stick of butter
2-3 tablespoons olive oil
1 pound large button mushrooms, halved or quartered
1/4 tube Gourmet Garden chunky garlic
black pepper
Emeril's Essence
Italian seasoning blend
Worcestershire sauce
kosher salt
dried oregano.

Melt the butter over medium-high heat; add the olive oil.  Add the mushroom and cook until they show a little color.  Add the chunky garlic, the pepper, and the Essence.  Lower the heat to medium and continue to cook, stirring frequently, until the mushroom are at your tenderness preference.  Add a shot or two of Worcestershire, and some salt and oregano.  Cook a few minutes more.  Serve alongside steak or over mashed potatoes, rice, or pasta, or by themselves.

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