Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Hitting a Genetic Trifecta: The Second Side of the Triangle

Tuesday, Day 10 - Had my brain scanned this morning, regarding my "altered mental status."  Yeah, that's what the doctor called it.  I like it, although I suppose it could be taken wrong.  It does seem to cover the brain fog that's been plaguing me.  Confusion, distraction, trouble finding words, cognitive interference, headaches, vision blurriness, etcetera and so forth.  Easy procedure, in and out within 30 minutes.  So that's one appointment down, two to go.  Crazy day.

I've been thinking about tamales lately.  Seriously planning them in my head, investigating alternate wrapping methods, figuring out how to best soften the corn husks in the crock pot, getting in the mood.  You have to be in the mood to make tamales, because they are at least as labor intensive as stuffed cabbage, maybe even a little bit more.  So I was working up to the mood, trying to decide which masa I would use.

And then the loquats interfered.  I'll explain another time.

Woody and I took a very fine walk, one mile full circle, stopping to admire the lakefront and the park. He wasn't too upset that I kept calling him Tuffy, but it upset me because it happened repeatedly (including just this moment as I wrote this sentence) and also because I had trouble recalling his correct name.  I live in fear of the Big A, with what I consider good reason. What if this isn't really fibro fog?  I am way past mentalpause, and this is not a side effect of my medication.  My maternal grandmother-who-raised-me and her sister, my beloved Aunt Ceil, became terribly senile, starting in their mid to late seventies. Apparently my father-who-did-not-raise-me was also showing signs of senility before he died of a heart attack at the age of seventy-four.  Mike also suffered from the deepest of depressions his whole life.  So this is what it feels like to hit a Genetic Trifecta.

I'm sitting in the waiting room of my gynecologist wondering why I got here early.  There are nine other women here, and they are all sitting with their heads down, seemingly mesmerized by their cell phones. It reminds me of an episode of "Doctor Who", in which everyone was connected to a net or matrix by bluetooth-like ear phones in both ears. Never mind the details, it didn't end well for anyone.  And neither did my day.  Later.

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