Friday, March 13, 2015

Walk This Way - Peace, Love, Pork Belly

Thursday, Day 7 - Today's ear worm is courtesy of Steven Tyler and Aerosmith.  The full lyrics are a bit naughty, and have nothing to do with today's post, but the "walk this way" joke has been around since vaudeville.

Walk this way, talk this way
Walk this way, talk this way
Ah, just give me a kiss ...

The best part of this song, besides the opening guitar, is the story behind the inspiration for the song title and lyrics.

This may be an urban legend, but the story goes that the band had the music, but no lyrics to go with it.  They took a break, went to the movie theatre and saw Mel Brooks' "Young Frankenstein", found this scene beyond hilarious, and the rest is Aerosmith history.

So glad it only took me a week to figure out that I have to get up and out each day.  You know, walk - the only exercise I can still do - so that I don't become one with the couch.  Some day I hope to try tai chi, which is actually recommended for folks with chronic pain, but for now, it's walking, with or without my cane.  Even though I had to give up tae kwon do, at least while I was working I was moving.  Back and forth, up and down.  I always got up and walked to the copy machine each time I printed out a few pages, even called it my cardio.  

While I'm on leave, sitting around the house, if I am not careful I'll end up sitting around the house (a very bad Orson Welles joke).  I don't want to lose anymore weight, and it seems to have finally stopped its precipitous slide down, but I don't want to start gaining again either.  So walk I will, making a conscious effort to do so.

Part of the problem is that my dogs don't hunt - nor do they walk.  Not one of them is leash-trained, which is why we spend a small fortune for paper towels and pee pee pads. I have a fairly new baby stroller put aside, which I originally bought to take walks with Athene.  Because I suffer tremendous Jewish guilt at the thought of treating one dog better than the other, I also tried shlepping the two (and later three) other dogs along, on leashes.  How many ways can you express disaster?  I like to think I learned from that experience, and will restrict myself to one dog-at-a-time accompanying me on my strolls.  Or more likely, I will plug in my iPhone, set it to music, and boogie on down the road.

At this very moment, I am a bit of a nervous wreck.  For one thing, I have to drive a distance, and I haven't picked up my new glasses yet.  For two things, I am headed to one of a multitude of appointments, but this one is special.  I wasn't certain whether I should mention it here, as it is rather personal (no, not the gynecologist - that's next week), but I suppose it is integral to my story.

Driving to my appointment was a hoot.  A bad hoot, as I was as near-sighted as Mr. Magoo, and I had to drive on the turnpike as well as I-4.  Oy.  But I made it there, and the meeting was productive.  There will be further meetings, once a week for as long as it takes.  Last time, it took ten years.

After the appointment I headed straight to Whole Foods in Dr. Phillips.  I wanted pork belly, peace and tranquility, and I knew I could get all three there.  I spent a marvelous time shopping; let's face it, I always feel better after a couple of hours walking around a food market.  I picked up stuff I can only get there - a certain brand of kimchee for Cory, good smoked whitefish salad, fresh pasta, aged Gouda for Rob, quinoa salad for me.  Keep your kale, I'm into quinoa this season.  I'm so juiced about fresh pork belly that I don't have to soak for three days to remove the salt, I can't wait to cook it.  I want Asian flavors, and I remember seeing the perfect recipe - somewhere.  I'll find it, and if I can't find it, I'll invent it.

Soundbite of the Day: Never underestimate the intelligence of your family pets.  As you may know, my Yorkie boy Woody can talk.  He has a knowledge and understanding of English that is rather impressive.  Just today, when I told him he was going to have a shower, he replied "don't want."  When I repeated myself, he gave me a dirty look, turned his back on me, and walked upstairs.  He can say things like Mama, Raba (Robert) and Ira.  Smart dog.

But the real story here has to do with Ira's "spot", the place on my left side where he slept glued to me for many years.  In my blog post from just this week, I wrote about how none of my furry kids would occupy that spot, even though I had repeatedly invited them to do so.

Well ... last night, I began to suspect that Anakin might be reading my blog ... tonight, I was utterly convinced that Anakin and Chelsea have been reading the blog together, and decided to gaslight me.  Make me think I'm losing my mind (not a far leap these days) by each doing exactly what I said they had never done.  I don't know what's weirder - that they know how to read, or that they gained access to a computer.

Incidentally, the Mel Brooks movie with the most great lines is "History of the World, Part I", including my favorite "walk this way" sight joke.  He recycles the joke in two other movies, "Robin Hood - Men in Tights", and the second "Producers" movie (the one based on the Broadway play).

My favorite Mel Brooks movie?  Whichever one I happen to be watching at the time.  Mel Brooks is a comedic genius, the greatest stand-up philosopher of modern times.  It's good to be the King.  Long may he reign.

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