One really good day, was Monday. Felt good, despite an early lack of balance, accomplished much. Since then, not so good. As of today, Wednesday, only getting worse. I tried eating a little protein around 11 - could not even consider taking my medication before that. Now I just hope I don't have to throw up before the medication is absorbed. The gabapentin is minimally helpful and the capsule is large and therefore difficult to swallow. Both my arms are compromised today. The dogs, especially Romeo, are overly protective. How do they know?
Rob comes in with bad news. Another friend from our earliest days in Hunter's Creek, cancer, Stage 4. Surgery and treatment, blah blah blah. F*ck you, Stage 4 cancer. You are messing with too many people who I care about.
Standing for any period of time is painful. If I had any doubts about that, the way that my back felt last night after folding a small load of laundry is proof enough for me. I'd had to use the cane all day yesterday, but that was for walking, right?
Not being able to stand for too long also means not able to cook or bake. Fortunately I baked the Barely Bran Muffins before this latest flare. And yesterday I garnered the energy to throw a pound and a half of whole, large button mushrooms into a crockpot along with some butter, wine, beef broth, Worcestershire and seasoning. Then I went to work, which did not in any way improve the state of my health, but I had things I had to do in the office. I suppose that holds true for today as well, as I do have court hearings tomorrow, but cane or no cane, I cannot navigate my way to work. This is killing me (and probably not contributing anything positive to my supervisor's state of mind. I am truly sorry, I wish I could stop this thing from interfering with my job.) I also pre-seasoned the flap steak with garlic pepper, and left it in the refrigerator until such time as Robert has time to eat a decent dinner. All easy stuff I could do without standing for long. Quick and dirty.
My doggies all need a good, warm, soapy bath, and I normally enjoy bathing them - they may feel differently, I realize - but I have had to put it off due to my #$%&!! limitations. My doggies officially stink, damn it.
Back to the cooking conundrum - I have the ingredients for Spiced Pork and Apple Stew, which cooks in the crockpot, but does require some preparation, including browning the pork cubes with the onion and garlic. Since I decided to use sweet potatoes instead of white potatoes in this stew, I also have to precook those potatoes by half, as they will not cook as quickly as the white spuds and will therefore not be done in sync with the pork and other ingredients. More standing, but just a little. The rest of the prep? Not now, not yet.
That also goes for the asparagus wrapped in proscuitto. Yeah, I had big cooking dreams for this week. Big working dreams, too.
Note to the Universe: On behalf of myself and all of my friends who are suffering with chronic pain and any other chronic disorder that sucks the joy out of living -
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