Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Am Yisrael Chai

My neighbor's crape myrtle in bloom

If you are anti-Zionist, if you are a proponent of the BDS movement, if you think that Jews have horns in their heads and are Christ-killers, please move on to another website.  I have something to say, and I'm probably going to offend you.

If you think this is an accurate map of the Middle East, please move along

But first - I saw an article on CNN online that serves as a reminder that zombies are real, and a Zombie Apocalypse is not just Max Brooks' idea of a bad day.

"It’s the stuff of nightmares – a newly-discovered wasp that turns cockroaches into zombies.

The Ampulex Dementor, named after the terrifying soul-suckers from the “Harry Potter” movies, is one of a 139 new species discovered in Asia’s Mekong Delta in 2014, according to a World Wildlife Fund report." (Fox News)

I don't know what tickles me more ... the whole idea of zombie cockroaches (I lived in a NYC apartment building for 3 years and I thought I knew everything about cockroaches), or the fact that they were named for a group of characters from the Harry Potter series (books, not just the movies.  Don't people read anymore?)

For those of you that think the scientists who chose that name were being childish or irreverent, why don't you tell me the name of the prototype for the NASA Space Shuttles?

And now the question that is on all of our minds:  What happens when a Dementor Wasp stings a  human being?

Hmmm ... apparently all the zombies swarm to Israel.

One more silly question before I move on to the serious business of Israel: what was the name of the actor who portrayed the World Health Organization doctor in World War Z?  (If you guess right, you get - nothing, absolutely nothing.  Who do you think I am, the Pioneer Woman?)

Marinating chicken

The chicken is in the fridge, bathed in a quart of buttermilk and a couple of big glugs of Crystal Hot Sauce.  I should probably fry it tonight, but I don't have the energy.  I went to Walmart and bought strawberry plants and that knocked me out.  I didn't plant them, or the peppers, tomatoes, and jalapeño, and I sure as hell did not plant the two blueberry bushes.  Thank God for James and Linda and my husband, who makes my gardening dreams come true.

Now, back to Israel, both the country and the people.  A while back, I was actually "unfriended" by someone who had known me for many years, because I posted a number of pro-Israel statements on my Facebook page.  At the time, I told him I was sorry he felt that way, and let it go.  But now that I'm feeling a bit more free with my feelings, I just want to let him know, albeit belatedly, that I always knew he was an anti-semite, and he did me a big favor, both by leaving the United States and by "unfriending" me.  No surprise he moved to the most antisemitic country in Scandinavia. Knock yourself out, Nisseman.  Israel will thrive and survive long after both of us are dead.

Jalapeño plant

Another item that has gotten stuck in my craw is the so-called BDS - boycott, divestment and sanctions - movement that is very popular on certain college campuses, and with a number of corporations, countries, and other short-sighted organizations.  Let me make clear that anti-Zionism equates to anti-semitism.  The Nisseman used to play that game, but I wouldn't play that way.  Neither did the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., who is attributed with having said, "When people criticize Zionists, they mean Jews. You're talking anti-Semitism." 

More blueberries

If you are one of those people who are "talking anti-Semitism", two things - first, please read this quote from the late Jewish humorist, Sam Levenson:

"It's a free world.  You don’t have to like Jews, but if you don’t, I suggest that you boycott certain Jewish products like insulin, discovered by Dr. Minkoski; the vaccine for hepatitis, discovered by Baruch Blumberg; chlorhydrate for convulsions, discovered by Dr. J. Von Liebig; the Wassermann test for syphilis; streptomycin, discovered by Dr. Selman Abraham Waxman; the polio pill by Dr. Albert Sabin; and the polio vaccine by Dr. Jonas Salk."

"Good! Boycott! But humanitarianism requires that my people offer all these gifts to all the people of the world.  Fanaticism requires that all bigots accept diabetes, hepatitis, convulsions, syphilis, infectious diseases and infantile paralysis."

"You want to be mad? Be mad!  But I’m telling you, you ain’t going to feel so good."

Darth Kitten 

Oh, and the second thing?  Unfriend me, please.  And on your way out, kiss my tiny Jewish heiny.  Please.

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